Mental Health Support

LiberalLoner

(11,188 posts)

44. 💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗

Reply to stillcool (Reply #34)

Wed May 14, 2025, 01:43 PM

May 14

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There is something that confuses me a great deal...the concept of "family." [View all] LiberalLoner May 13 OP

I don't believe you have any obligation to be around anyone, family or not, that mistreats you let alone abuses you. MLAA May 13 #1

Thank you so much!!! 💙💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #2

People who get angry at us for setting boundaries Basso8vb May 13 #3

Thank you so much! My husband is so happy I have set boundaries and is very afraid I might let them back in. I won't.💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #5

Having to scapegoat somebody else terrifies them as any one of them could be "it" SheltieLover May 13 #3

Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙. I think they are just angry to lose their favorite punching bag. They don't LiberalLoner May 13 #6

Absolutely! And they absolutely will turn on someone else now that you've extricated yourself SheltieLover May 13 #8

💙💙💙💙poor next scapegoat. LiberalLoner May 13 #11

I hear you, LiberalLoner. And I feel/felt your pain -- especially from the guilt. But no more punching bag here either. wordstroken May 14 #42

Thank you so much! 💙💙💙. I am glad you escaped, too. 🤗🤗🤗🤗 LiberalLoner May 14 #43

Your husband is correct synni May 13 #7

Thank you so much! I will try to! 💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #13

Great book: "Scapegoat Complex" SheltieLover May 13 #9

Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙💙. I will find it and read it, even if it is triggering. It might help explain why LiberalLoner May 13 #14

I just bought the kindle by that author that I think will help me a lot, thanks so much! 💙💙💙I do have C-PTSD which LiberalLoner May 13 #17

Absolutely it is very common for dysfunctional families to scapegoat one member. SheltieLover May 14 #48

Perfect example! SheltieLover May 13 #22

Thank you so so much for being so kind and wonderful! 💙💙💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #23

You are most welcome! SheltieLover May 14 #49

Excellent advice. Thank you, SheltieLover. wordstroken May 14 #47

Hi Words SheltieLover May 14 #50

Will definitely do. Thanks again, Sheltie wordstroken May 14 #53

You might also enjoy looking up testimonials on You Tube regarding Internal Family Systems (re: "No Bad Parts" book) SheltieLover May 14 #51

On it. wordstroken May 14 #54

Blood is not necessarily family. Hope22 May 13 #10

Thank you so so much. 💙💙💙 I wish you peace and safety, and all the best. 💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #15

Keeping close to abusive people, family or not, is masochism NoRethugFriends May 13 #12

That's what I always thought too, but the outcry when you go no contact is just deafening, you know? And I wonder why. LiberalLoner May 13 #16

Because that loses them their target for abuse and ugliness. niyad May 13 #19

Thank you 💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #24

A lot of people in society have a Hallmark Cards view of reality spooky3 May 13 #20

Thank you so so much 💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #25

A couple of points from my personal view: the concept of "family" that is niyad May 13 #18

Thank you so so much! 💙💙💙💙 I stayed close to my fellow scapegoated stepsister, she is awesome. LiberalLoner May 13 #26

Maybe a new definition of family would help. Perhaps it really is not defined by who you share DNA with! Amaryllis May 13 #28

I couldn't agree more, Niyad! SheltieLover May 14 #52

Thank you get the red out May 13 #21

OMG walking on eggshells like that is classic being a scapegoat or abuse victim! You were abused too as badly as I was LiberalLoner May 13 #27

I have always defined family in different ways. Lonestarblue May 13 #29

Very wise 💙💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #30

I got divorced from what I knew as 'family' stillcool May 13 #31

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard it is to endure such a loss. 💙💙💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #32

Thank you. I was surprised... stillcool May 13 #34

💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗 LiberalLoner May 14 #44

Growing up in an abusive family, I can attest NO CONTACT is best. They rarely ever accept the Clouds Passing May 13 #33

💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗. Funny thing is, they are the ones who appear, or are, "normal" to the outside world. LiberalLoner May 14 #45

KnR Give Peace A Chance May 13 #35

💙💙💙🤗🤗🤗 I mostly daydreamed about suicide every day. Thought about dashing in front of a school bus. LiberalLoner May 14 #46

Life is hard, families fight...but clearly yours must have gone far past the point of deserving forgiveness lostnfound May 13 #36

Thank you so much! 💙💙💙some of it is them simply not admitting, or downplaying the abuse....for example, my LiberalLoner May 13 #40

Make sure to keep a proper distance. Even in good families. Festivito May 13 #37

A restraining order is probably most appropriate for my family of origin. Thank you so much! 💙💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 13 #38

No...toxic family are not. Tikki May 13 #39

Yes, thank you...💙💙💙 I regret ever exposing my husband to my toxic family. I wish I had not. LiberalLoner May 13 #41

""fambly is everything, you MUST stay close to all of us! How dare you go away?"" OldBaldy1701E May 15 #55

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner May 15 #56

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner May 15 #57

I'm sorry you had difficulties with your family. "A family who will help you grow, even when you don't want to...". LiberalLoner May 15 #58

So many people mistakenly think that those who wish to "make you grow against your will" LiberalLoner May 15 #59

The first poem I ever wrote. Just a rhyming couplet, not anything like a real poem, and actually I have LiberalLoner May 15 #60

...... LiberalLoner May 15 #61

And not to change the subject, but just how brilliant is Mr. Copeland's work on this song? Music like this makes life LiberalLoner May 15 #62

I wish you, and all the people who might read this, something infinitely nicer and better than what you wished for me. LiberalLoner May 15 #63

I will say, I believe love is possible between cats and humans, and dogs and humans. I believe in the concept of love LiberalLoner May 15 #64

One of the ways people tried to change me the past decade, I think, was to get me to stop giving my art away. I agreed LiberalLoner May 15 #65

I guess what I wish for everyone here is, a life free of bullies. LiberalLoner May 15 #66

In case some of the people reading this are part of the bullying group that has harmed me in recent years, I should LiberalLoner May 15 #67

My apologies then. (n/t) OldBaldy1701E May 15 #68

Thank you. 💙💙💙 LiberalLoner May 15 #69

I'm sorry, it's just that I've gone through an awful time these last few years, with two celebrities and their people LiberalLoner May 15 #70

"I don't trust anyone anymore." OldBaldy1701E May 16 #71

💙💙💙💙💙thank you. I am so sorry for what you've gone through and the scars you carry. It's not fair. LiberalLoner May 16 #72

PS. Got my second cataract surgery today. Resting at home. I am excited to see how my vision will turn out in the new LiberalLoner May 16 #73

Awesome! OldBaldy1701E May 17 #75

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner May 17 #74

"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves." sop May 17 #76

I'm in a place where it feels like millions of people hate me and want me dead, and LiberalLoner May 17 #77

Don't give up hope, there are a lot of good people out there. sop May 17 #78

Thank you. I would like to be allowed to come to a place where I can believe I am a person worthy of life. LiberalLoner May 17 #79

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner Sunday #80