Kansas GOP picks election conspiracy promoter as new leader

[k0rs]

7. Never...

Last edited Sun Feb 12, 2023, 11:32 AM - Edit history (3)

...trust a Kanzoid. Lovingly (or not) referred to as "'Zoids" here in Colorado. They invade the state every summer and wander the highways like a pestilence, rubber-necking mobile traffic hazards. Having never seen a curve at home they're at a total loss on how to deal with them. Soon they will be here seeking abortions that will be unobtainable in their flat, fascist empire.

You spot them in their cars, full sized four door sedans of indeterminate color, prairie cruisers. Republican candidate bumper stickers and crosses or "pro-life" admonishments on the back. "Trump won." The old man in a suit and tie, hunched over, death grip on the wheel, a slight glint of spittle at the corner of his mouth. Mom, resplendent in her Sunday dress, cakey make-up and lacquered hair. A back seat full of snot-nosed kids, mishappen faces pressed against the glass, peering out at you like you are the alien.

But just try driving your Colorado plated car east on I-70 from Colorado across the god forsaken wilderness of wheat. Because their Nazi state patrol just knows no one crosses Zoidland recreationally, so you must be transporting evil weed to the their land of purity. They'll tear your car apart, intimidate you, bring in the dogs and plant evidence if they must.

Here's hoping the Eagles destroy their fucking football team and their little racist mascot tomorrow.

With apologies to Dem 'Zoids. I know you're out there. Too bad, like Hercules, you can't clean out the Augean stables.

Rant off.