New Yorker Radio Hour: Sarah McBride (1st trans U.S. Congressperson)
https://www.wnycstudios.org/podcasts/tnyradiohour/articles/sarah-mcbride-on-the-fight-for-trans-rights
Excerpt:
This country is still at a trans 101 spot... Leaders should always be out front of public opinion, but in order to foster change in public opinion we've got to be within arms distance of the public, so we can pull the along with us. If we get too out ahead of it we lose our grip and are unable to pull the public along with us... There is a space for diversity of messengers, and a diversity of message... What we do know is that as the movement for marriage equality moved forward, the most effective messengers for marriage were not same sex couples, were not parents of same sex couples or kids of same sex couples, the most effective messengers for marriage equality were those that evolved. They were effective because they gave a permission structure for people who had not yet gotten there that it was ok to be uncomfortable, it was ok to be on the other side of the issue. You were not a bad person, you weren't wrong. And by giving people permission to be wrong, it created the space and grace for people to grow. We need more grace in our politics if we want people to actually grow...
We are shooting ourselves in the foot as people who believe in progress when we create no incentive for people to grow because they perceive they will be permanently guilty for having been wrong. We create no space for them to grow by extending no grace for them to walk there...
One of the reasons you see people pushed into their respective corners -- you say something that's deemed problematic. And you are immediately hounded by one side and immediately embraced by the other side. Human nature is -- when faced with that degree of extreme binary reactions is to go to the people who are validating you instantaneously. So we unintentionally push people further and further into their own corners and into their negative opinion by responding with a degree of condemnation and vitriol that creates no incentive or space for them to grow.
Reconciling my own anger at "them" with how deeply disturbing I find the level of name-calling, extreme stereotyping, and assumptions about who "they" are that I see among "us," is certainly a complicated mess.
But ultimately, the only way back will be through listening, and moving away from tossing conclusions at each other. Don't focus on the conclusions. Ask about the experiences that brought the person to this or that view. That's how the door to the possibility of connecting as people is opened a crack. And when someone feels heard, they are far more likely to be willing to listen to you talk about the experiences that brought you to a different view.
It is not about "making nice." It is not about "compromising" or "agreeing." It is about seeking to have genuinely honest, genuinely curious conversations.
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