A medical story for the forum:

[Ms. Toad]

45. So far - my refusals have always been for the better.

The single medical regret I have (in 69 years of way too much interaction with the medical system) is when I didn't refuse medical intervention. So far - no harm, but any harm would be years in the making.

Normally I have time to fully evaluate and make my decision, and then move on without regret - even if my decision doesn't work out as I had hoped. One decision resulted in a second surgery, which mortified my doctor (his first ever failure). But that second surgery was still less risky than the approach recommended by the initial doctor (which carried with it a risk of permanent respiratory impairment).

But when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was at the worst time of year to allow time to make a decision (end of school year/start of bar study). In addition, that spring my brother was actively dying of colon cancer (in prison, in another state). He died the day after a pre-mastectomy biopsy of a spot missed by the first team on the MRI, so I wasn't even able to travel for a final visit with him. Which brings me to needing to fire the first medical team (both incompetence and arrogance) - so I had to start over with a new team. As a result, my window for making a decision about radiation ended up not being large enough for me to evaluate risks v. benefits.

So I agreed to radiation. In hindsight, I would have refused it. Radiation-induced angiosarcoma is an uncommon but very deadly long-term complication of radiation, and I collect uncommon and rare conditions. I am more confident in my ability detect a local recurrence of a very slow growing cancer than I am in my confidence to identify a new, aggressive, hard to detect, radiation-induced angiosarcoma.