Just learned a new term I've never heard of before, anywhere.

[csziggy]

46. I use MS for online forms but not in daily life

I think it is a style of business courtesy to use a title for customers - even when the salespeople call us by our first names even when we've asked them not to.

For some reason I get called "Miz firstname" by all sorts of people, usually those younger than me who I've asked to just call me by my first name. Even when I have told people that I don't use my husband's surname, they often call me Mrs. mysurname. And of course, my husband gets called Mr. mysurname very often.

The part that really pisses me off is companies that decide that a woman MUST use her husband's surname or those who translate a married woman to being secondary to their husband.

The IRS started it - well maybe our first accountant did it. Since I had the main income I listed myself first on the documents. But the accountant switched our name because of "male must be head of household" - but the idiot did NOT switch the Social Security numbers. So we got a letter from the IRS saying our Socials were wrong. I wrote back and explained the mix up, no problem, or so I thought. Then I get a letter from Social Security asking why I didn't notify them of my name change. I wrote them a testy letter telling them I did NOT change my name and that the IRS format on their forms (first name of head of household, full name of spouse, last name of head of household) screwed up. I've had no problem with the Social Security offices since.

When we changed accountants we had no trouble with him but his asshole bookkeeper couldn't handle it. Every single piece of correspondence was addressed to Mrs. myhusbandlastname until I raised Cain with her boss. The last time I ever had any interaction with her, she called and tried to talk me into selling Avon. She looked sort of like that woman from The Office while I do not and never have worn makeup. Why the hell would she think I might even consider selling that crap? I called her boss and told him what she had done. He made sure she was no longer on my paperwork. She did work at his office until he retired, but a different person took care of me until then.

I've been through pretty much every iteration of trying to assign a woman to secondary status to a man. I chose my battles carefully now. But as my husband says, don't get me angry, I will pin my grudge on the wall and throw knives at it.

I think that whole mess was why the IRS audited us four years in a row.