Still fucked up after all these yearsl this time

[pinboy3niner]

I've been posting here as if I were a normal person. My deep, dark secret is that I

suffer from PTSD--Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The same thing that afflicts victims of rape

and natural disasters.

The subject arises for me now partly because I have a couple of difficult anniversary dates

coming up--dates when friends died in the Vietnam war. But on top of that, I recently stumbled

upon a website for my unit in Vietnam, and after I registered, a guy sent me a photo and asked if

that was me in it. Here's the photo, and yeah, that's me, at 20, in Vietnam:



Front row: Mark Rivest (KIA 1970), me, Dan Abrecht
Back row: Russ Shields (KIA 1970), Captain Dexter

For me, seeing the photo was bittersweet. Two of the four guys I'm pictured with were killed in

action--one the day before I got hit.

None of us were like Lt. Calley. We led our units professionally, and ethically. We didn''t murder

civilians. Our PTSD had nothing to do with war crimes. Our delayed grief, and loss, and guilt was

about those we lost in the war, and what we saw. Oh,God, what we saw!

The notion back then and todayt hat PTSD is associated with commission of war crimes is absolutely wrong. Some people just don't have a fucking clue about what's really going on.

[LiberalLoner]

1. Wishing healing and comfort for you, dear friend. What a hero you are to me, and to

everyone who truly understands what you sacrificed. Thank you. When I see this photo of you and the other men...I want so badly to go back in time and gather you all in my arms and protect you.

[LiberalLoner]

2. P.S. I'm here for awhile if you would like someone to hear you....n/t

[pinboy3niner]

5. My dear friend

I had no doubt you'd understand. After all, we've both been there before, haven't we?

You know you have only my best wishes coming your way--hang in there, Sister!

[LiberalLoner]

7. :) You too, dear brother. We are still standing....we will remain standing. n/t

[October]

3. Listening.

I still have/cherish my POW bracelet from when I was a kid.

And I don't for a minute think PTSD is only related to war crimes. People in civilian life -- who've had some sort of trauma -- experience PTSD.

Sending angles.

[Lint Head]

4. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost some boyhood friends

to that war. Stay positive. I know it lives with you and it's hard to put it in the past. Your friends cannot rest in peace until you are at peace with the past. I'm sure they would not want you to suffer because of them. You have enough on you dealing with the physical and mental issue of PTSD. Be strong. You apparently are strong to go through what you have in your life.

[remember2000forever]

6. Have You Applied For Disability Benefits?

My husband, a Viet Nam Vet, has finally gotten 100% PTSD Approved by the VA. The Vet Center, a local group, helped him through the long process. There should be one in your community. Good Luck!

[Old Codger]

8. Absolutely

I have a 12 year old child in my home that is suffering from PTSD, the fallacy that it requires the sufferer to be responsible for their plight is all BS in the extreme. My heart goes out you and others who were used so cruelly by our country and treated so badly by us also....Good luck on these "anniversaries" doesn't sound like anything to celebrate for sure but nothing that can be forgotten either.

[Mojorabbit]

9. Sending you a big hug. nt

[poverlay]

10. Thank you for showing us that. Some of us do get it. We honor you, and teach our children the same

You are heroes. Not simply for going, or what happened "over there", but for what you've endured since then. I'm very sorry for all you've had to suffer.

Don't let the ignorant assholes bring you down. So many more of us do understand as well as we're able, and we thank you,
For everything..

[jody]

11. Most of us who served in Vietnam have demons that haunt us. Your picture brought back memories from

43 years ago, a mixture of sad and happy times when we were once young.

:toast: to buddies some of whom will never grow old!

[Oubaas]

12. PTSD

Hang in there Dan, and thanks for your service! I was 100% permanently and totally disabled in the line of duty myself and have been diagnosed with severe PTSD. It's a tough row to hoe sometimes.

Rick