Best/Worst Analogies--come Lounge, surely we can do better.

[Dr. Strange]

Peruse this list:
http://bethanyamandamiller.wordpress.com/2011/02/22/the-56-bestworst-analogies-written-by-high-school-students

Today's challenge: come up with better (i.e. worse) analogies.

[HopeHoops]

1. Her supple naked pale corpse was like a duck that had been run over by twenty-five tractor trailers.

[Dr. Strange]

2. HopeHoops responded like an EMT ready to save the day...

even though no one was having a heart attack, as far as the Lounge could tell.

[ohiosmith]

3. As he left her bed she was purring like a finely tuned 396 that had been bored and stroked to a 427.

:shrug:

[Dr. Strange]

6. Her kiss shocked him, like seeing someone bowl a strike without hitting the head pin.

[ohiosmith]

10. Their relationship had the spontaneity of a whoopee cushion in the diarrhea ward of a retirement

home.

[Dr. Strange]

20. That sound you hear?

That's the sound of ohiosmith winning the internets.

:thumbsup:

[ohiosmith]

22. You sir, are too kind.

:hi:

[geardaddy]

4. Her eyes were red from crying, red like two icicles hanging from the heater outside the window.

[XemaSab]

5. I saw someone say this about the "first kiss at the wedding" video:

Their kiss looked like two pelicans fighting over a scrap of carrion.

Which, come to think of it, is a perfect analogy, but I digress. :D

[Swede]

7. Her chest heaved like two puppies fighting under a blanket.

[kayakjohnny]

9. There's just a hint of poetry in that one.

Not to mention the imagery.

:)

[sarge43]

8. His hand slid down her body like two snails crossing an oil slick. n/t

[BlancheSplanchnik]

11. She glanced at them and gave a look of disgust....

disgust mixed with world weary ennui, an expression that mingled disgust and world weary ennui with exasperation. Exasperation and nausea. Disgust, world weary ennui, exasperation and nausea, as if the contents of her stomach might find their way up the dark and hidden folds of her esophagus to enter the well lit room and be greeted by the stark face of the afternoon sun streaming through the window.

It was the kind of look she might give if she had accidentally gotten a glimpse of a clique of post-midlife Republicans frolicking in a turd-encrusted hot-tub.

Only it was night, and as she cradled the bottle of mid-priced Gewurtztraminer (New York State 2010) in one arm, and fretted at her acidic vomit-tinged throat with the other, she realized that in fact, she WAS looking at a clique of post-midlife Republicans frolicking in a turd-encrusted hot-tub.

[kayakjohnny]

12. Wow!

Kudos!

:wow:

[BlancheSplanchnik]

13. :D

Thanks!!!

I'm cracking mySELF up re-reading that!!!

don't know if I'll be able to rise to that level again, but glad it's here for posterity now. :P

[dimbear]

14. The dawn came up like Thunderbird. n/t

[MilesColtrane]

15. The long distant memory of her sweetly smiling face caused a tightening in my chest and...

a catch in my throat, like I had been overcome by a fetid cloud of burning dog hair.

[pacalo]

17. Oh, man -- that was BEAUTIFUL untl I got to the end.

[MilesColtrane]

18. woops meant to reply to the OP

[MilesColtrane]

16. Rinaldo's mind reeled at the stark realization that he had been betrayed.

It was as incomprehensible as a two-headed ferret.

[MilesColtrane]

19. Her cool, detached, "no" was a swift, steel-toed boot straight to the balls of my heart.

[Dr. Strange]

23. "...the balls of my heart."

That's poetry, that is.

:applause:

[krispos42]

21. He clicked the link with trepidation...

...the kind of trepidation you feel when watching a horror movie and the sexy blonde sees blood dripping down the wall of the house and she decides to go up in the attic to investigate without telling anyone while only carrying a flashlight with almost-dead batteries and you realize she's going up there in her good clothes and she's going to get them all dusty and grimy and you want to shout "Hey, lady, put on some sweats or something! And put your hair up in a ponytail!"