how can i help my son?

[mopinko]

so, my son was raped by a boy on the block when he was 10. he didnt tell me till 15 yrs later.
he is a mess. trapped. wants nothing but to smoke weed all day.
i had to kick him out of my house 3 yrs ago. he was stealing anything that was worth anything, and threatening me.
he got himself into serious legal trouble shortly afterward by fleeing the police. he wasnt doing anything wrong. he was doing door dash and had a delivery for a military base. they turned him away, then called the cops. bad idea. duh. but he and i both think he may have had a seizure from the lights. he had more than a couple concussions as a kid, and epilepsy from head injuries runs in the family.
now he has an outstanding warrant and cant get a decent job. i tried to set him up w a lawyer so he could get it straightened out, but he cant do that either.

at least when he was here, he played the drums for hours.
now he doesnt even have that. i offered to buy him a guitar and/or an electronic drum kits. he cant make a lot of noise where he is. but no.

his dad and i both were sending him money, but he bit us for that. spent it on weed, then got mad at us when the weed ran out.

everyone in the family has begged him to get help. before he left i had to call 911 on him twice. they tried to give him 30 days, but he refused to take any meds so they cut him lose.
my nephew took him in for a while, but he didnt live up to their agreement and he drank up the man's booze.
everyone told him- get back to us when you get some help.
i sent him a xmas package, and we chatted a bit. i begged him again to just find a support group. i get not wanting to see a shrink, or take meds. but just knowing he isnt the only one would go a long way, i know.
he blames all his troubles on me. i've at least tried to direct his anger at the right person. but i wasnt the mom i wanted to be, and i get that when that happens to you as a kid, you direct it at the person who didnt protect you. so, not sure how much he can take that to heart.

this is an anchor on my heart. my other kids still have issues w me, but they are all living good lives. the gap hurts, but this. this feels like it might kill me.

any words of wisdom?