One holiday down, two to go

[clyrc]

The ex didn't take off for Kenya because he needs to give more information to the department processing his fiance visa, so he was here for Thanksgiving. Which was a good thing. I went from crying all weekend the week before to getting ready for the holiday, and trying to stay positive.

I went to see what I could get for a 22k gold chain I got in the UAE 6 years ago, but the woman working at the gold buyers shop would only give me half of what I paid for it then, 70 dollars. I'm pretty sure that is a total rip off, but I don't know where else to look. Anyway the ex found out I was trying to sell jewelry to get money for Christmas, and he told me to stop worrying because he was leaving me with money when he leaves. I asked him why he waited until then to tell me, and he said I don't have to know everything. Sigh. I don't think he's learned all that much from the break up of the marriage.

I was feeling a little better about my finances, until I went to open an account. I had to put 25 in a savings account since it's a credit union, and pay 21 for checks, so I didn't have enough money in the account for the bills at the end of the month. I called the ex in a panic, but he acted like I was crazy for getting so upset. The thing is, he told me I was going to have to pay all my bills for at least two months on my pitiful pay and I believed him, so of course I was upset. I'm going to try to stop worrying so much about money.

We had an interesting conversation a few days ago. I don't know how he got things so mixed up. When he would make me mad, or upset, or when he would decide to be impossible, he would tell me it wasn't his job to make me happy. My point was he needed to stop being an asshole, regardless. Then a few days ago he told me he tried and tried to do things to stop me from getting depressed, and in his way I guess he did. But I never expected him to do that. I had depression problems before I met him, and I never expected him to cure them. I don't understand how he took the blame for things that weren't his fault and then refused to see the things that were. If he had ever asked me, I could have told him it usually wasn't his fault. Except, of course, for that time... well anyway it struck me as sad.