A few years ago my BFF and mentor of 30 years passed, just weeks following my mother's passing. I was exponentially more upset about my BFF's passing. I was terrified while she was dying and devastated when she passed.
She did let me know when she left; it was mid day, a time when I am least likely to be taking a nap or feel tired. I recall a sudden feeling of drowsiness and went to lay down, I was out of it in seconds. Then I realized I was in a lucid dream. In the 'dream' I was standing in her bedroom with her husband and daughter looking at her in the bed. It was bright and sunny outside, almost blinding as it filled the room through the window. She suddenly sat up in bed and swung her legs out to get up. I noticed that she looked younger and well, fully dressed in a crisp apricot plaid blouse and apricot colored capri pants. She slipped on her sandals as she stood up and headed for the bedroom door. Next, we were all standing in the living-room near the stairs and front door. We watched as our beloved matron walked down the stairs, grabbed a windbreaker off the rack and walked out the door and down the little walkway toward the blinding light. And then I awoke knowing that she had passed and was going to be fine.
I still cry when I think about her, I will miss her for the rest of my time on this planet. I am sure it will be so with you regarding your BFF. The thing that helps me compose myself when I get emotional is to remember that the worst thing I could do is forget her and the important life lessons she guided me through.
Time will help too but not as noticeably. You're stronger because of that friendship, honor it by remaining strong.
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