Okay guys and gals, I have a second interview coming up!

[davsand]

24. My extended family has horrified a couple of funeral homes over the years.

We do realize that death is serious, but we also celebrate that life. You can always tell when everybody has shifted gears because they all start telling stories about the one that just passed.

My father's passing was not a surprise, but still it was painful. We were at the funeral home the next day making arrangements for his funeral and they were showing us pictures of floral arrangements for the top of his casket. They were all typical arrangements for the top of a casket, except for one that was made up of wild grasses and flowers. While it was pretty enough, it was also made up of a lot of the same stuff that my dad had spent a lifetime cutting out of his soybeans and barn lots. I took one look at it and could not help it--I started laughing and handed the book to my brother who ALSO started to laugh. Our mom was giving us "that look" until she got hold of the book and then SHE started laughing. The funeral director was giving us all looks like he thought we were nuts.

I had to explain to him that we'd spent our childhood walking beans and doing farm work that included cutting those same grasses and flowers out of the bean fields. My mom was laughing so hard she was wheezing when she told him that if we put anything like that anyplace near my Dad--even if he was dead--he'd sit up and yell at us all to get a weed hook or a hoe. The funeral director was not as amused as we were.

During the visitation, my brother was telling some of my aunts and uncles about that little scene, and they got started laughing. Pretty soon, the neighbors (also farmers) heard the story and THEY were laughing. The next thing I knew they were all telling stories about my dad and some of the stuff he'd done, and it seriously WAS a celebration of him and who he'd been. Very healing, and totally not the somber atmosphere of a funeral home.

We've had similar experiences over the years with other family members, and have actually had other people from outside the family make comments that it sounded more like a party that a funeral in the room.

You can laugh and cry at the same time.


Laura