Getting Older?

[Nictuku]

16. Thank you!

Since I just turned 59 today..... I needed a little chuckle.

I can't even..... begin to think how I'll feel next year when I turn the Big Six-Oh..

Will I be able to visit with friends by then? I'm also caring for my 79 year old mom. She lives with me, fortunately she has the upstairs area and I have a downstairs area so we do have our own 'space'.

This just isn't exactly how I pictured my golden years (I'm not quite there yet). I love my mom, she is progressive, open minded, she was a cosmetologist and a skydiver back in the day. She was a hippy (but never admitted to it)

I just feel like my life is passing by while I stand stagnant. Working to pay the bills. Can't afford vacations (I miss Hawaii where we lived for 20 years when I was 10)

I've never even been to Europe (one of my pipe dreams). Will American's ever be allowed to travel there? (will I have any money by then?) Will I lose my house to pay for my mom's medical bills?

*sigh* Sometimes I worry too much. Time for a mental adjustment.

Here is the up side: For my birthday todayt, my lovely mom made home made rocky road ice cream, and from scratch a delicious white cake with coffee icing, and for dinner we get her famous southern fried chicken, mashed potatoes, green beans, and cucumber salad.

No Carb Diet? What diet? I went off that in March when mom started making home made breads. My favorite: Sour Dough!

So thank goodness for my mom, even though it might have sounded like I was complaining. I'm grateful that I am here for her, that I can be the one to go to the store for her. If she still lived in Memphis by herself I would be worried sick about her. I just kind of miss more diverse conversations that I would have with my friends and co-workers in a social setting (i.e. drinking and talking story). Phone calls are OK, just not quite the same.

OK, thanks for listening. I am not even sure why I posted this.

Oh I know... I wanted to ask. At what point do you consider yourself a senior? 59?60? Or 62 when you can get medicare? Or when you get that blasted AARP letter in the mail that is not addressed to your mom, but to you? Gah! I don't want to grow up. I still feel like a 24 year old inside my head. (it is just when you look in the mirror that you get thrown back to reality)