Quirky cat affection.

[HeartsCanHope]

3. I've been a very lucky "Cat Mom" six times.

Each cat would only tolerate affection on their terms. Some were very affectionate, constantly requesting pets, sitting in my lap and sleeping with me on the bed. One of my male cats, Obie, would sit on the back of the couch behind me, and rest his head on my shoulder. If I tried to move him onto my lap he would immediately jump down and run away. After a while he'd circle back and get up on the back of the couch and rest his head on my shoulder. He followed me everywhere in the house, staying wherever I was, but never wanted to be held. He loved it when I sang to him, and would often meow back. I "interviewed" Obie once for a lesson for my classroom. The kids at my school never tired of listening to his "interview". I learned that each cat had their own "love" language. Slow blinks were returned almost every time once trust had been established. Most cats also seem to like to rub their face against you. Never forced, just sitting close, but letting our cats make contact in their time. A vet told me once to avoid petting the spine itself, often too sensitive for them. Most of my cats loved petting, but one, Seb, would always bite if you rubbed his back. We later discovered he had back problems, (we were so glad the vet told us about the spinal sensitivity,) so our scritches and loves were limited to his favorite areas--facial cheeks, chin, one finger stroking the bridge of his nose, and between his ears. I guess what I trying to say is every cat, like every human, has their own, unique way of expressing affection. How lovely for Ember that she has someone willing to figure out what makes her happy! I have also found the grooming cats is a lovely way of getting close. I always bought soft, human baby brushes. I let the cat sniff the brush, bite it, and rub their scent on it--then brush the facial cheeks only at first. Doing this daily, the cat allowed more and more areas to be touched by the brush, even if they wouldn't let us touch them any other way. Thank you for taking such loving care of Ember. You're not doing anything wrong if she rejects certain things--you are giving her the freedom to love you in her own way.