I need to build a foundation of intrinsic self worth but I'm not sure how to start.

[Locut0s]

A large part of me thinks of myself as lower than a slime mold and deservedly so. I define myself by my failures. If I was asked to define who I was in a neutral and non-threatening environment I would list every negative thing I could think of about myself then add, as a foot note, a small list of talents and achievements. I seem incapable of accepting praise without replying with a thanks, BUT..., look at the "real" me. When I visit forums and other places I always start with a very negative introduction in the hopes that people will accept this "real" me first. I feel like an imposter or liar when discussing my talents and achievements. Yet I desperately seek attention and praise, to the point where at times I may come across as full of myself or egotistical when the reality is quite the opposite. I want people to see my talents and praise me, but then I want to show them the list of my failures and say SEE this is the "real me", can you accept me and praise me now? In many ways this IS very egotistical and self centred as it's all about me, me, me even if it is all negative.

The ultimate base issue here is that I have no intrinsic feeling of self worth. I'm only as good as my last achievement or last bit of small praise I received. And the positive effects of these events are fleeting and short lived. Thus I'm continually seeking praise and acceptance as this is the foundation upon which I build my feelings of self worth. I lack the internal motivator, praiser and generator of positive self value that most people seem to have. Pull the rug out from most people and they are still able to say to themselves with a certain level of certainty, even in difficult times "it's ok, I'm worth it, I'll keep chugging along cause I know I'm better than this, I deserve better" etc... I seem to completely lack this internal message. In it's place I have a very negative tape recorder playing a loop of all my failures and feelings of negative self worth.

I need to work on building a foundation of self worth on which I can lean and draw strength from. I'm not clear though how to go about this task.

Edit: I'm fully aware of the irony of posting this as a list of failure and a means of seeking approval and praise in and of itself.