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Mental Health Support

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no_hypocrisy

(53,912 posts)
Tue Nov 25, 2025, 07:49 AM Tuesday

My 78 year old friend is in peril. [View all]

Married for 50+ years to a woman who's dedicated herself to cruelty against him. Constantly yelling and browbeating and haranguing against him. Initially, he was a battered spouse, but he thought all he needed to do was to avoid her when she had her tirades (which included throwing knives at him.)

She has gone behind his back and forged his name on home equity loans and then refused to pay them (not even the interest), imperiling foreclosure. Has used his birthdate and SS number to set up online access to his bank account to siphon money from him (again without his consent and/or knowledge).

And now she's conspired with doctors to find a medical basis to claim that he has dementia. (He doesn't.) She wants it all, meaning she wants to declare him incompetent, institutionalize him, and then sell their home and keep (and spend) all the money.

She's worn him down to the point where he doesn't argue with her. He's tired; he's afraid of her. But he won't leave her. Not because of love. But because of years of mental erosion. He's at his breaking point, and he might indeed give her a documented incident to allow her to declare him mentally incompetent.

She has their adult children working in concert with her. And he knows it. Imagine being elderly and knowing those supposedly closest to you are conspiring to take you down.

I contacted Adult Special Services and explained everything, but they insist that their hands are tied until HE personally makes a complaint. And yes, he has two "safe houses" he can retreat to, but he remains in a home none of us would consider residing in for five minutes.

Any ideas please? I'm quite concerned.

6 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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My 78 year old friend is in peril. [View all] no_hypocrisy Tuesday OP
Any ideas? Botany Tuesday #1
Yes, get it all on record. Joinfortmill Tuesday #3
Omg! What a horror. Joinfortmill Tuesday #2
Yes. bucolic_frolic Tuesday #4
Yes - I agree completely Grim Chieftain Wednesday #6
Well... you can lead a horse to water and all that. OldBaldy1701E Tuesday #5
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