Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Mental Health Support

DenaliDemocrat

(1,611 posts) Sun Mar 23, 2025, 07:00 PM Mar 23

My wife has finally been diagnosed with NPD [View all]

She is covert with BPD traits. It’s been 25 years of emotional abuse. We tried therapy but it didn’t work, which I guess makes sense now.

I feel compassion but also hot rage. It was NOT “my perspective” nor me being “overly sensitive”, it was narcissism. I’m mad for all the lost years.

I might divorce but she is shocked by her diagnosis and says she’s committed to getting better.

11 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

My wife has finally been diagnosed with NPD [View all] DenaliDemocrat Mar 23 OP

Hugs for your struggles.. Clouds Passing Mar 23 #1

It can change for the better, but I also get your anger. Do what you need to get your joy back. marble falls Mar 23 #2

Negotiate good boundaries that work for both of you. Communication is key. bucolic_frolic Mar 23 #3

Good luck and best wishes on your efforts to deal w/ her NPD. It's not fun to deal w/, I haven't had to deal w/ SWBTATTReg Mar 23 #4

I am guilty of reactive abuse DenaliDemocrat Mar 23 #6

I am dealing with this issue johnnyfins Mar 23 #5

... alwaysinasnit Mar 23 #7

Have you looked into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? multigraincracker Mar 23 #8

Sorry for your troubles OnDoutside Mar 23 #9

I wish you and your wife well. LoisB Mar 23 #10

I lasted 32 years married. OAITW r.2.0 Mar 23 #11