I dreamed that I died.

[highplainsdem]

17. Saw this after I posted another reply to your OP.

I've been unnaturally obsessed with the thought "I'm going to see them all again some day", even though that is not what I actually believe will happen.

There's nothing unnatural about wondering if there's an afterlife, and you don't have to belong to any religion to believe there is. I left the Catholic Church in my teens. Gradually over decades went from being agnostic to realizing that between near-death experiences, deathbed visions and after-death communications (unmediated experiences; no one needs a medium), there was simply too much evidence of an afterlife, one where we can be reunited with loved ones, to ignore. Nurses and people working in hospice often have experiences to recount. A lot of people have personal experiences, though they're often unwilling to talk about them. Probably all of us know someone who's had such experiences, but you generally won't hear about them unless people feel they can talk about them without being ridiculed. A grief support group where such experiences won't be ridiculed, for instance. I haven't looked at DU's Bereavement forum very often, but I'm fairly sure I've seen such experiences posted there at times.

While all of this is going on, I also have moments of tremendous positivity. A feeling of lightness in spite of the grief.

That isn't unusual in ADCs, after-death communications. They're letting you know they're fine. Sending comfort.