General Discussion

usedtobedemgurl

(1,852 posts)

80. Please, Please, Stop Using That Term, It Is Awful.

Sat Nov 11, 2017, 10:51 AM

Nov 2017

I am a rape survivor and I take great offense to you saying "Did anyone consider that because it's between consenting adults...". If it was two consenting adults, it would not be reported. Consent is not something that happens because one person says they want it and the other may be unconscious.

I and my rapists may have been of age for every single rape but that does not mean any of them were consensual. Seriously? Consenting adults?

I do not know why you think allegations of sexual assault equals two consenting adults but, if true, they were not both consenting. And even if the victim did consent, it sounds like he was not sober enough to legally do so.

Words have meanings. I would be deeply offended if someone said my rapes were between consenting adults. That would mean no rape took place at all and that is just not true.

How did you come to the idea they both consented? Why are you calling the guy a liar by saying he consented? I am confused, dazed, bewildered, and angered.

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George Takei Accused of Sexually Assaulting Former Model in 1981 [View all] Henry Krinkle Nov 2017 OP

There is starting to be a really long list of names Not Ruth Nov 2017 #1

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. defacto7 Nov 2017 #2

The story has been confirmed by 5 of the man's friends. pnwmom Nov 2017 #6

If it wasn't consentual defacto7 Nov 2017 #8

Sexual assault against adults is still wrong. And no, a victim whether male or female pnwmom Nov 2017 #9

Sorry, I updated my post. defacto7 Nov 2017 #12

You might think it's trivial, but #metoo is probably why Roy Moore's accusers pnwmom Nov 2017 #13

Children vs. Adults defacto7 Nov 2017 #17

Assaulting neither children nor adults is moral or acceptable. n/t pnwmom Nov 2017 #35

It's not trivial. defacto7 Nov 2017 #20

People are responding to this story as they have when women have made similar claims. pnwmom Nov 2017 #36

I didn't say required... I said it's what adults do. defacto7 Nov 2017 #16

The vast majority of adults who are sexually assaulted don't press charges. pnwmom Nov 2017 #37

I prefer the legal path to resolve such incidents... FarPoint Nov 2017 #135

If he was drugged, how is it consensual? Roland99 Nov 2017 #15

Who said he was drugged? Is that a fact or defacto7 Nov 2017 #18

Before finishing a second drink he was already passing out? Roland99 Nov 2017 #22

Maybe... still doesn't pass the test.. defacto7 Nov 2017 #23

Okay, fuck this. moriah Nov 2017 #25

Of course it is wrong. treestar Nov 2017 #98

What reason does this specific person have to lie? moriah Nov 2017 #104

political reasons treestar Nov 2017 #108

As I said, I believe victims until something comes up to prove otherwise. moriah Nov 2017 #113

Because the model is a Repub Motownman78 Nov 2017 #109

Was unaware of deets on vic. As I said, until deets... moriah Nov 2017 #117

I'm just in awe at these replies... Drunken Irishman Nov 2017 #146

It sucks when we have to take the high road, but there's less bullshit there. moriah Nov 2017 #149

The accuser was very specific. He is going public with his real name, and he was 23 at the time, pnwmom Nov 2017 #39

That's my point. How do I know he's lying, you ask? defacto7 Nov 2017 #41

Post removed Post removed Nov 2017 #47

We know that he told 4 friends over the years, and that all 5 of them are willing pnwmom Nov 2017 #141

Then why the bloody fuck would you insinuate the accuser was on drugs... moriah Nov 2017 #150

I didn't defacto7 Nov 2017 #152

Reminder: moriah Nov 2017 #157

What you quoted kind of proves he didn't say that. musicblind Nov 2017 #173

.... you are missing the point. moriah Nov 2017 #174

Your "test" is stupid Bradical79 Nov 2017 #45

It's not my test. defacto7 Nov 2017 #46

You know shit about logic Bradical79 Nov 2017 #49

I'll take that under advisement. defacto7 Nov 2017 #55

The drink/drug count does not matter.... usedtobedemgurl Nov 2017 #93

Please, Please, Stop Using That Term, It Is Awful. usedtobedemgurl Nov 2017 #80

I tend to agree with you rock Nov 2017 #73

I have no clue id this is trie ir not. pangaia Nov 2017 #3

Do you think Weinstein, etc are fake stories made up by Republicans? former9thward Nov 2017 #81

No pangaia Nov 2017 #138

Why are people resisting this story? WhiskeyGrinder Nov 2017 #4

Victims are lying for those we agree with politically MichMan Nov 2017 #26

Because Takei is our friend and fellow democrat tavernier Nov 2017 #42

Resist? I question it. Loki Liesmith Nov 2017 #52

Because we like what this guy says about the Orange Toxin treestar Nov 2017 #88

Wrong is wrong, and yes, there is victim blaming. Ilsa Nov 2017 #133

Because rape culture is bad for men too IronLionZion Nov 2017 #162

Wouldn't surpise me Matthew28 Nov 2017 #5

where did you get "90%" and "most" Skittles Nov 2017 #10

Throwing out a number Matthew28 Nov 2017 #11

I do not think most men behave inapropriately around women Skittles Nov 2017 #14

this man never has bdtrppr6 Nov 2017 #29

I'VE HAD IT WITH MEN Skittles Nov 2017 #33

Yeah, I've been thinking the same. A lot of this stuff goes on IMO. n/t RKP5637 Nov 2017 #77

Here is the story from BuzzFeed. It reports that he's told 5 friends over the years. pnwmom Nov 2017 #7

I tell all my friends I've slept with Kate Upton... woolldog Nov 2017 #19

This, people make shit up all the time for pity.... sunonmars Nov 2017 #34

It's getting officially absurd treestar Nov 2017 #99

OMGAWD...... a kennedy Nov 2017 #21

I'm curious how this is going to shake out. Pope George Ringo II Nov 2017 #24

This message was self-deleted by its author susanna Nov 2017 #40

Odds are you will never know Loki Liesmith Nov 2017 #54

Probably true, especially if it stays a he said/he said situation Pope George Ringo II Nov 2017 #106

Did y'all read the story? underthematrix Nov 2017 #27

What if he had not woken up? blogslut Nov 2017 #28

I feel the same way but there's nothing in underthematrix Nov 2017 #32

Groping someone when passed out is sexual assault Bradical79 Nov 2017 #43

I understand. However, the story is not consistent with sexual assault. underthematrix Nov 2017 #48

Groped and disrobed when passed out after 2 drinks Bradical79 Nov 2017 #50

It is Sexual Battery in CA. Here is the law Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #68

From what I can surmise from the person's own statements, the initial contact was not against underthematrix Nov 2017 #76

And if someone tries to have sex with you when you're passed out, B2G Nov 2017 #79

We'll have to agree to disagree underthematrix Nov 2017 #85

The law disagrees with you too Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #87

I'm glad you brought that up. underthematrix Nov 2017 #101

Based on the description the person gave and CA law it did Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #102

Here's an explanation of the CA sexual assault/battery law underthematrix Nov 2017 #103

You should re-read that link you provided because you didnt comprehend it Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #122

I understood the article underthematrix Nov 2017 #126

You may think you did Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #130

I was focused on the more serious issue of restraint and whether underthematrix Nov 2017 #131

How did he tell him to stop if he was passed out? Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2017 #121

THe person said he woke up and saw what was happening and underthematrix Nov 2017 #129

So then he wasn't passed out. Hassin Bin Sober Nov 2017 #134

You are desperately splitting hairs. nt Blue_true Nov 2017 #154

I understand. But for me the evidence just isn't there underthematrix Nov 2017 #164

Wow. Blue_true Nov 2017 #153

But there are some pages missing NCDem777 Nov 2017 #38

When a person is unconcious, you don't start at all. That's sexual assault. Crunchy Frog Nov 2017 #66

Yeah, but you don't undress them without their permission. nt Blue_true Nov 2017 #151

George will fess up if this is true. mamas Nov 2017 #30

I doubt he will if there was drugs involved. Otherwise, I would agree. SandyZ Nov 2017 #31

Giving the benefit of the doubt. Amimnoch Nov 2017 #44

You're ignoring the "passed out" part Bradical79 Nov 2017 #51

Maybe theyre not sure that its true Loki Liesmith Nov 2017 #53

And your leaving out "I must have" Amimnoch Nov 2017 #57

Thanks for the most insightful posts on this thread. Doodley Nov 2017 #59

It's that quote from the accusor ? JI7 Nov 2017 #61

Yes. It is in the excerpt in the OP.nt Lisa0825 Nov 2017 #148

Have you ever interacted with someone when they were blacked out? uppityperson Nov 2017 #167

I dont get why people are resisting this story Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #56

I the story when the guy said stop George did uponit7771 Nov 2017 #60

Because he came to. When he was passed out he couldnt consent Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #65

You're correct, I read again and it said "I must have passed out". GT ... uponit7771 Nov 2017 #112

Because people are thinking emotionally and HopeAgain Nov 2017 #62

It's all accusation treestar Nov 2017 #91

The difference with those others there were MULTIPLE people with similar account uponit7771 Nov 2017 #114

This attitude that unless more people say the same thing it is questionable Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #165

Many people believe men can't be victims of sexual assault, only attackers IronLionZion Nov 2017 #163

no no no no noooooooooooooooo samnsara Nov 2017 #58

It looks as though a row of dominoes is falling helter skelter. ananda Nov 2017 #63

he has denied it. Cobalt Violet Nov 2017 #64

stop means stop. Crosses the line to assault when they doN'T "stop". Won't let you leave. Sunlei Nov 2017 #67

Also if the person is incapacitated and cant give consent Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #69

What consent? 'petting' & said, 'stop'. And so it stopped. Sunlei Nov 2017 #71

Listen to George Takei Seemingly Refer To The Sexual Assault Allegation on The Howard Stern Show FarCenter Nov 2017 #70

That is Misdemeanor Sexual Battery under CA law Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #72

This message was self-deleted by its author Amimnoch Nov 2017 #74

George Takei on Facebook feed 55 min ago: Amimnoch Nov 2017 #75

K&R! n/t RKP5637 Nov 2017 #78

That conflicts with the transcript of his own words just one post above Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #84

that is why it is not believable treestar Nov 2017 #95

Reading some of the responses astounds me. B2G Nov 2017 #82

Me too Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #83

+1 SixString Nov 2017 #86

It is not OK if proven treestar Nov 2017 #92

And how is it going to be proven? B2G Nov 2017 #96

It's not fair to just accuse people treestar Nov 2017 #97

If the story is true, then there will be other victims Kaleva Nov 2017 #100

The model is a Repub Motownman78 Nov 2017 #110

How do you know that? B2G Nov 2017 #111

"The model is a Repub.." AncientGeezer Nov 2017 #143

If he is the only one, George should be ok. Blue_true Nov 2017 #156

NO NO NO !! The other perps have MULTIPLE people accusing them making uponit7771 Nov 2017 #115

Which is exactly why B2G Nov 2017 #120

Where's the balance then? Thx in advance for any input on this. Trying to learn uponit7771 Nov 2017 #139

Well in my opinion, B2G Nov 2017 #142

And i cant believe the number of people who will believe any accusation whatever it may be BannonsLiver Nov 2017 #118

Now you understand why rightwing Christians are clinging to Roy Moore. Blue_true Nov 2017 #155

Hyperbolic much? ChubbyStar Nov 2017 #158

Sexual abuse is sexual abuse. Abuse of power is abuse of power. Blue_true Nov 2017 #160

Have a blessed day! n/t ChubbyStar Nov 2017 #161

Time to remember some claims are false JCMach1 Nov 2017 #89

I am suspicious of this one myself nini Nov 2017 #105

Also where sometimes we have to step back and wait JCMach1 Nov 2017 #107

Lots of people have forgotten that lately BannonsLiver Nov 2017 #116

Exactly... JCMach1 Nov 2017 #137

I know a number of men and a woman who were falsely accused Sen. Walter Sobchak Nov 2017 #144

He's denied this allegation Greybnk48 Nov 2017 #90

Oh no...you mean he is human and makes mistakes too?!?! cbdo2007 Nov 2017 #94

Not judging MFM008 Nov 2017 #119

George Takei is the victim here. Doodley Nov 2017 #123

Your assumption that all victims of sexual assault behave the same way is wrong Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #124

Takei said that what he did has not been about power over another, Doodley Nov 2017 #128

It is not legal to grope and undress an unconscious person Lee-Lee Nov 2017 #132

He never admitted to doing anything without consent. Stop smearing. Doodley Nov 2017 #140

Also, the guy says himself when he said stop, Takei stopped obamanut2012 Nov 2017 #166

This entire thread is divided into two distinct sides... defacto7 Nov 2017 #125

Have to admit, I have avoided reading this. damn. riversedge Nov 2017 #127

his post on Facebook melm00se Nov 2017 #136

Ugh Lotusflower70 Nov 2017 #145

Alleged victim samir.g Nov 2017 #177

Oh, damn. Lil Missy Nov 2017 #147

Well we can't say "if this is true" like the Repugs nt doc03 Nov 2017 #159

Go through this thread, and replace Takei with Trukp Morris64 Nov 2017 #168

No, sorry not interested in your exercise ChubbyStar Nov 2017 #169

Kindly scroll on, friendo! Morris64 Nov 2017 #170

Sure thing Mo! ChubbyStar Nov 2017 #172

Not until more people come forward. moriah Nov 2017 #171

Just keeping myself in check. Morris64 Nov 2017 #175

Is George Takei on record for having bragged about sexual assault? bullwinkle428 Nov 2017 #176

Yes, the Howard Stern interview was DISGUSTING. Morris64 Nov 2017 #178