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[Squinch]

287. You were responding to a post that said:

with respect to women's rights issues, there are men on DU who like to tell women whether their feelings about these things are valid. Those men need to shut up.

And frankly they do.

Because, sometimes it isn't about you. I don't need to discuss this with you. Discussion isn't paramount. I don't need your agreement about certain things.

To use a DU example, "rape is never the victim's fault." That is something that needs to be clear to women and those men who have experienced or come close to rape. A lot of people jumped into the thread to say, "Yes, yes, we all agree, now stop insulting us by saying it, and stop flame baiting us by saying it. Just stop talking about it." Or my favorite, "Why does this have to be in GD!?"

Well, no.

Obviously the statement made some uncomfortable. Obviously some felt it was aimed at them and part of an "agenda," and they had had just about enough of that!

But, so what? It wasn't there for them. It was there for the others, male and female, who have been assaulted and are dealing with the aftermath. It was there for those of us who wonder how to talk to the young women we are raising. If 25% of women and who knows how many men are sexually assaulted in their lifetimes, then it simply stands to reason that some of the assaulters are here among us. It was there for them.

It doesn't require the approval of those who are always showing up and discussing what is wrong with these threads, and hijacking them to say "but for God's sakes, who will think of the men!" It isn't about those posters. If they didn't think it needed to be said, they could just move on, as many of them probably move on past cat threads, or astrology threads, or region threads.

I think at the bottom of it, some people are just unable to understand that it doesn't always have to be about them.