General Discussion

undergroundpanther

(11,925 posts)

303. all it takes is a choice

Thu Apr 4, 2013, 03:43 PM

Apr 2013

to commit rape. if I do not know or cannot trust a man,since I cannot read his mind I don't know what choices he would make.

I'm not a mind reader,but I am a survivor,and I know how common rape is,and it makes the world a scary place once it has happened to you.

I don't think all men are rapists,but I am wary that a man might choose to be one.
I wouldn't know for sure until he tried it or did it to someone else.But that vigilance against rape,and the chance it could happen it remains a potential reality. I wish rape never happened.I wish no one raped anyone. just like I wish there were no pedophiles or sociopaths.

but there is a point where rape is a choice made by the rapist,and the rapist is 100% at fault for the choice he makes to destroy another person.

That's why I get disgusted when rapists get excused and victims bashed. And in this society it can be so cruel to a survivor,denial can go deep as can culture,even if said culture is toxic.

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"all men are potential rapists" [View all] arely staircase Apr 2013 OP

And all men Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #1

I couldn't agree more, Summer. pacalo Apr 2013 #3

Nice one, Summer. protect our future Apr 2013 #9

no they aren't - some men are sociopaths who will never be any of those things. arely staircase Apr 2013 #22

I think we're speaking at cross purposes Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #29

let me put it this way arely staircase Apr 2013 #31

You seem to be confused Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #39

I edited my post while you were responding arely staircase Apr 2013 #41

My apologies ... Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #52

I disagree. MrSlayer Apr 2013 #153

Hitler had a dog, Blondi, he really loved. nt raccoon Apr 2013 #287

Thanks Summer :) whatchamacallit Apr 2013 #139

+++1 patrice Apr 2013 #180

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #229

In the context of the OP and what is being discussed here Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #238

Like 'all gun-owners are potential criminals.' All the time on D.U. Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #281

Of course they are -- CokeMachine Apr 2013 #292

A healthy way to see things, summer! nt. polly7 Apr 2013 #290

my best friend's mom datasuspect Apr 2013 #306

Again mercuryblues Apr 2013 #325

Where did the OP, Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #326

I guess these words mercuryblues Apr 2013 #328

The OP pointed out Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #329

The OP claimed that anyone believing that any man could be a rapist lacked intelligence, KitSileya Apr 2013 #330

"The OP claimed that anyone believing that any man could be a rapist lacked intelligence." Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #332

sure mercuryblues Apr 2013 #331

At this point, Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #333

Excellently put. TimberValley Apr 2013 #335

Who is saying this shit?????? MADem Apr 2013 #2

That's what I'd like to know: where did that ridiculous statement come from? pacalo Apr 2013 #4

i am not going to call out any durs by name arely staircase Apr 2013 #12

Don't put too much stock in giving long-time members "with as many or more posts than even you" pacalo Apr 2013 #34

indeed - i just refuse to call such people feminists arely staircase Apr 2013 #36

I was just talking to a long-time female DUer on the phone about this. UnrepentantLiberal Apr 2013 #28

remember the ill-fated meta forum? arely staircase Apr 2013 #37

It was DU's Ia Drang Valley. UnrepentantLiberal Apr 2013 #42

I kinda miss that forum... octothorpe Apr 2013 #327

... Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #66

Exactly. RiffRandell Apr 2013 #280

+1 Raine1967 Apr 2013 #294

Where did you read "all men are potential rapists"? pacalo Apr 2013 #5

Straw Man Weekly? Blecht Apr 2013 #6

Until I get a link, that's as good an answer as none at all. pacalo Apr 2013 #7

it here in gd arely staircase Apr 2013 #13

Actually, you are allowed to link to a post when it advocates a position. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #16

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #19

Did you read the posts from your search? Because the several that I read said no such thing... Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #24

people are defending it in this very thread arely staircase Apr 2013 #25

One person is proposing that it is a tactic not that they agree. Essentially agreeing with your OP. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #26

so it is a tactic? arely staircase Apr 2013 #27

Until you present evidence that it is actually happening, then we might have that Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #30

do you agree with this tactic? do you agree with the statement "all men are potential rapists"? arely staircase Apr 2013 #32

I know that I have taught my daughter that no matter where Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #102

Well, it has been used. theKed Apr 2013 #147

So? As was pointed out elsewhere, potential does not mean future Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #155

Quite right. theKed Apr 2013 #166

This message was self-deleted by its author KittyWampus Apr 2013 #132

FALSE BainsBane Apr 2013 #92

Following the link from the "buffet" and Le Taz Hot Apr 2013 #70

uh huh arely staircase Apr 2013 #76

Turrets? Le Taz Hot Apr 2013 #78

wow arely staircase Apr 2013 #80

Hey, I'm not the one Le Taz Hot Apr 2013 #85

that's probably about as classy BainsBane Apr 2013 #94

The 'buffet' is not saying what you claim. Why are you misrepresenting the facts? HiPointDem Apr 2013 #75

you reaize iis being defended in this very thread, right? arely staircase Apr 2013 #83

i don't see that. i also see that your claim isn't borne out by your link. the opposite in fact. HiPointDem Apr 2013 #88

tell us, show us BainsBane Apr 2013 #95

This. theKed Apr 2013 #148

funny, that's not the member the OP BainsBane Apr 2013 #149

Point being? theKed Apr 2013 #160

0 posts in the last 90 days BainsBane Apr 2013 #152

A bit dismissive. theKed Apr 2013 #162

The OP said "recent" BainsBane Apr 2013 #169

I don't see any outrage in my post theKed Apr 2013 #176

You should stop this! Sissyk Apr 2013 #110

This ^^^ treestar Apr 2013 #128

LOL Canuckistanian Apr 2013 #213

Apparently from "feminists" according to post #1. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #11

i wouldn't call the advocates of this position feminists arely staircase Apr 2013 #14

I think a more accurate term would be "disruptors." MADem Apr 2013 #15

Perhaps the OP is making DU suck. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #17

I think you and I may agree Sissyk Apr 2013 #112

+1 nt arely staircase Apr 2013 #18

You were asked Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #64

Logically 'feminists' would advance glassful of empty-headed nonsense being passed off as 'feminism' Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #87

Firstly ... Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #104

Setting the treasure hunt aside for the moment, would you vote to hide if you did see it? n/t lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #284

Here. lumberjack_jeff Apr 2013 #286

all it takes is a choice undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #303

its purpose is to antagonize, and at that it is quite efficient. haikugal Apr 2013 #8

as is the purpose of this thread BainsBane Apr 2013 #51

The average human has slightly less than one testicle. Socal31 Apr 2013 #10

I think the goal of this statement is to help men to be more mindful of their behavior. ZombieHorde Apr 2013 #20

and what better way to illicit introspection and mindfulness than calling someone a potential rapist arely staircase Apr 2013 #21

Feminists have been using strong tactics for a long, long time, ZombieHorde Apr 2013 #23

you are correct undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #304

Let me guess BainsBane Apr 2013 #33

do you agree with it? arely staircase Apr 2013 #35

Of course not BainsBane Apr 2013 #47

is this the shame me into shutting up tactic? the "it doesn't exist" tactic didn't work did it? arely staircase Apr 2013 #56

It was an effort BainsBane Apr 2013 #58

so you are cultivating my compasion now with baseless speculation? arely staircase Apr 2013 #62

I can't cultivate anything BainsBane Apr 2013 #65

well, thanks for trying arely staircase Apr 2013 #67

Out of curiosity BainsBane Apr 2013 #71

so now you're attempting the bullshit "shame me" defense. What a piece of work you are. You throw KittyWampus Apr 2013 #134

Your answer translates as MattBaggins Apr 2013 #186

I think it is nasty for you to drag me into this, but... Bonobo Apr 2013 #38

yikes arely staircase Apr 2013 #43

So if that was your source BainsBane Apr 2013 #57

What is so yikes about that? MattBaggins Apr 2013 #188

I bet there are some quotes by Alice Schwarzer that would fit in there. redgreenandblue Apr 2013 #44

What I think is nasty BainsBane Apr 2013 #45

You did not need to call out my name like that. Bonobo Apr 2013 #60

I'll happily delete the name BainsBane Apr 2013 #61

No, you betrayed something else. Bonobo Apr 2013 #63

I actually already felt you betrayed that BainsBane Apr 2013 #68

That was a misread. Bonobo Apr 2013 #77

I asked you questions, you didn't respond BainsBane Apr 2013 #86

No, you asked a single rhetorical question plus some personal questions. Bonobo Apr 2013 #93

... BainsBane Apr 2013 #96

Again, they seemed to be not very crucial questions. Bonobo Apr 2013 #98

minor personal chit chat? BainsBane Apr 2013 #101

This message was self-deleted by its author Bonobo Apr 2013 #91

I agree. It was a very unethical thing for her to do. pacalo Apr 2013 #50

Meh ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2013 #146

"Coward"?! pacalo Apr 2013 #157

I'm glad you are here with these quotes. In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #53

Have you read the works in question here? ismnotwasm Apr 2013 #109

I followed the first few links Le Taz Hot Apr 2013 #74

okay, I've figured out my confusion BainsBane Apr 2013 #89

This OP is using a false premise Le Taz Hot Apr 2013 #97

I knew it was false from the start BainsBane Apr 2013 #99

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #84

How do you know about that? snooper2 Apr 2013 #133

I hope that you don't seriously believe that! In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #40

no, i think it is utter bs arely staircase Apr 2013 #46

Then, I agree with you 100%. In_The_Wind Apr 2013 #49

then why pretend someone said it recenlty BainsBane Apr 2013 #54

Less than 2 minutes theKed Apr 2013 #168

In that 2 minutes BainsBane Apr 2013 #170

And in those two minutes theKed Apr 2013 #173

You are continually dismissive or rape BainsBane Apr 2013 #177

Post removed Post removed Apr 2013 #178

One would think, for someone who thinks so highly of their own intellect, she opiate69 Apr 2013 #183

I expect she does theKed Apr 2013 #184

True, that. opiate69 Apr 2013 #185

Another occasion you laughed at rape BainsBane Apr 2013 #191

Where's the laughter in that quote? Are you sure you gave the right one? nt. polly7 Apr 2013 #219

thanks for pointing that out undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #305

Note: it was dismissive of rape MattBaggins Apr 2013 #190

thank you, see this other example BainsBane Apr 2013 #192

The post you've linked to Summer Hathaway Apr 2013 #223

And what point are you making with your statistic? pacalo Apr 2013 #182

This message was self-deleted by its author cliffordu Apr 2013 #203

Is that really what you want to add to this discussion MattBaggins Apr 2013 #205

This message was self-deleted by its author cliffordu Apr 2013 #207

This is a totally crazy idea but hear me out anyway MattBaggins Apr 2013 #204

And some of us are survivors whose stories have been ignored by the polly7 Apr 2013 #225

Having read enough of your posts to know that you've got your head screwed on straight pacalo Apr 2013 #235

Thanks pacalo, that means a lot to me. polly7 Apr 2013 #239

Their problem is that women can see through other women like a pane of glass. pacalo Apr 2013 #241

That seems...almost wilfully obtuse Spider Jerusalem Apr 2013 #48

Thank you BainsBane Apr 2013 #55

i take it at face value arely staircase Apr 2013 #59

I want to be fauxraged so I interpret it MattBaggins Apr 2013 #206

If my husband saw a woman walking alone at night, he wouldn't attack her. pacalo Apr 2013 #69

This isn't about your husband either Spider Jerusalem Apr 2013 #79

It's about my husband or any other random man when someone, such as you, says this... pacalo Apr 2013 #164

And? Do you actually have a point? Spider Jerusalem Apr 2013 #187

I was responding to what you wrote to me -- did you forget that you replied that pacalo Apr 2013 #196

Sorry, but... Spider Jerusalem Apr 2013 #202

We disagree & that's fine. pacalo Apr 2013 #216

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #220

You know that for a fact, do you. pacalo Apr 2013 #226

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #231

"Only thing" is disingenuous. pacalo Apr 2013 #236

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #237

For someone with under 20 posts... pacalo Apr 2013 #240

not if a woman was dressed conservatively and raped by guys they never would have JI7 Apr 2013 #244

Certainly not. pacalo Apr 2013 #247

are you serious ? so how should a woman dress to avoid being raped ? JI7 Apr 2013 #248

Google "people at Walmart". pacalo Apr 2013 #252

and your point ? JI7 Apr 2013 #253

Can you provide a better example of how everyday people (unwisely) dress? pacalo Apr 2013 #258

so you think those people are inviting rape by dressing that way ? JI7 Apr 2013 #260

You tell me why women let everything hang out. Please tell me what they're thinking. pacalo Apr 2013 #262

as far as rape is concerned it does not matter how/why women dress the way they do JI7 Apr 2013 #266

Even if they dress that way in hopes of attracting a man's attention Gormy Cuss Apr 2013 #302

I find this victim blaming to be appalling. myrna minx Apr 2013 #324

Good taste doesn't equate to dressing in a burka. pacalo Apr 2013 #336

Tastefully dressed women are raped too. As are children, teens, men, the elderly. myrna minx Apr 2013 #337

It's also appalling that there seems to be an ironclad, every-issue-is-black-&-white mindset pacalo Apr 2013 #338

I was raped in my own apartment wryter2000 Apr 2013 #312

What I wrote shouldn't be read with a black & white mindset. pacalo Apr 2013 #313

I'm sorry, but without data, I'm not buying the assumption that clothing matters wryter2000 Apr 2013 #314

I'm not asking you to buy it. I was replying to your question. pacalo Apr 2013 #316

Low level of self esteem? HangOnKids Apr 2013 #201

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #222

You don't have my explanation correct &, as you said, you want to "make sure you have it right"... pacalo Apr 2013 #243

I'll make sure to let my daughter know that pacalo's husband is a-okay and to go Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #218

You're reading into my posts what you wanted to read. pacalo Apr 2013 #221

Who is obsessing over it? Who claims that it is ruling their life? Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #228

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #224

I haven't a clue what you are talking about or the poster that you are referring to. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #232

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #233

For a newbie under 20 posts, it seems you'd be more concerned with building credibility pacalo Apr 2013 #249

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2013 #250

when you mention things like how women dress it does put some blame on women JI7 Apr 2013 #251

Or it could mean being responsible pacalo Apr 2013 #254

when i see men without their shirt on i don't assume they are doing it for my attention JI7 Apr 2013 #255

Having been married to one of those "mens" for 33 years, I can assure you that men's pacalo Apr 2013 #259

women notice attractive men also JI7 Apr 2013 #263

Yes, we do. That we can agree on. pacalo Apr 2013 #265

and it doesn't mean we have a right to do anything we want to them JI7 Apr 2013 #267

No, there isn't much news about women rapists. pacalo Apr 2013 #269

Could that be because 99% of all rapists are men? KitSileya Apr 2013 #297

He's wired differently. wryter2000 Apr 2013 #315

I stand by my comment. pacalo Apr 2013 #318

I never asserted that wryter2000 Apr 2013 #319

No, you twisted what I said & inserted your own meaning into my comment. pacalo Apr 2013 #320

Yes, because talking about how victims dress isn't a very common derailing tactic. KitSileya Apr 2013 #276

This message was self-deleted by its author Dash87 Apr 2013 #296

By the same token... Behind the Aegis Apr 2013 #73

i am sorry to hear that arely staircase Apr 2013 #81

I used to think it was willful as well. Sheldon Cooper Apr 2013 #82

"...well-lit side of the road." That's where this ol' boy goes... Eleanors38 Apr 2013 #285

Frankly I don't give a shit. Why? BECAUSE I KNOW I'M NOT A FUCKING POTENTIAL RAPIST. nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #72

ANY man MIGHT be a potential rapist BainsBane Apr 2013 #90

You could say the same for women. joeunderdog Apr 2013 #321

I agree actually BainsBane Apr 2013 #322

Message auto-removed GreenRanger Apr 2013 #100

Locking Violet_Crumble Apr 2013 #103

IMO ...should have kept it locked. n/t L0oniX Apr 2013 #106

This is a Meta call out thread BainsBane Apr 2013 #114

Kinda like you do in HOF? Sissyk Apr 2013 #120

oh, snap! opiate69 Apr 2013 #123

This is a ridiculous thread. It is obviously shit stirring and has no value. The fact that it was Squinch Apr 2013 #117

It's pure shit-stirring. Aerows Apr 2013 #118

This is pure shit stirring Meta bullshit and should have remained locked. MadrasT Apr 2013 #119

please relock this thread MattBaggins Apr 2013 #194

This is a META thread, should have stayed locked. Rex Apr 2013 #334

And of course, polly7 Apr 2013 #105

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #107

Interesting seeing the names of those who "atta-girl"-ed that.. oh wait. opiate69 Apr 2013 #108

Ugh. zappaman Apr 2013 #113

Jesus UnrepentantLiberal Apr 2013 #136

I just read through that thread. What in the world does it even mean? pacalo Apr 2013 #189

The same benefits we as adults get when someone molests a child, I would imagine. polly7 Apr 2013 #227

I'm in total agreement. RiffRandell Apr 2013 #283

It's not made to antonize. It's made to energize. nt rrneck Apr 2013 #111

All humans Aerows Apr 2013 #115

Have you forgotten this from a year ago? You seemed to be grasping the concept then. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #116

Well isn't *that* interesting... MadrasT Apr 2013 #122

Particularly in light of post #19 Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #125

Yes, it IS pretty good evidence. Bonobo Apr 2013 #126

This thread is designed to do one thing Aerows Apr 2013 #127

But!! but!!! but!!! .............. opiate69 Apr 2013 #129

Absolutely no excuse to take a dishonest swipe Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #131

This post was alerted on! The jury voted 5/1 to let it stand! ohiosmith Apr 2013 #138

the take away is BainsBane Apr 2013 #145

More and more meta upon meta upon meta. Bonobo Apr 2013 #151

This whole thread is Meta BainsBane Apr 2013 #163

Some one needs to back off, that's for sure. Bonobo Apr 2013 #165

that's precisely what my SOP alert said BainsBane Apr 2013 #171

I did not disagree with the locking. Bonobo Apr 2013 #175

Thank you BainsBane Apr 2013 #179

And thank you for saying that. Bonobo Apr 2013 #181

this sounds like a very tenuous excuse for the OPs erroneous bullshit Kali Apr 2013 #140

I think it is curious that nobody seems to be grasping the concept now hfojvt Apr 2013 #130

Are we here for DU Aerows Apr 2013 #121

+1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 BainsBane Apr 2013 #124

Personally as a guy I've never seen anyone call "all men rapists" Arcanetrance Apr 2013 #135

Thank you! wryter2000 Apr 2013 #317

The fact that this thread Aerows Apr 2013 #137

All men are potential women and all women are potential men. Kablooie Apr 2013 #141

Is Jeff Goldblum behind the shenanigans here? Very possible. Dash87 Apr 2013 #144

I have no idea what's going on here, but... Dash87 Apr 2013 #142

Is that Aerows Apr 2013 #156

If you can't handle an actual argument about feminism BainsBane Apr 2013 #143

There really are no substantive issues on Feminism that anyone here disagrees with. Bonobo Apr 2013 #150

Who whipped up this outrage and who was the target? Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #158

In this post, it may have been the OP vs. HOF-fers, but... Bonobo Apr 2013 #159

I see quite a bit of really nasty stuff about a handful of women. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #167

I totally understand your feelings, but it really IS a two-way street. Bonobo Apr 2013 #174

I did lay out several for you BainsBane Apr 2013 #208

Could you point me to where to look please. Bonobo Apr 2013 #210

Sure BainsBane Apr 2013 #212

I am a man who has never posted in HoF MattBaggins Apr 2013 #195

They aren't many members who stand up BainsBane Apr 2013 #197

I hope you check it out and join in sometimes. Luminous Animal Apr 2013 #198

Congratulations.. you managed a trifecta of meaningless dog whistles.. opiate69 Apr 2013 #199

If only I was half as good as the OP MattBaggins Apr 2013 #200

And DU is the place for "all men are potential rapists" & "all men benefit from rapists"? pacalo Apr 2013 #245

Frequently when HoF is demonized in GD (or the now defunct Meta)... MadrasT Apr 2013 #293

EEOC laws are one BainsBane Apr 2013 #161

Can you ACTUALLY point us to a real statistic on this quote: cliffordu Apr 2013 #211

Let me unpack that to try to tease out the issues. Bonobo Apr 2013 #214

priority is a good point BainsBane Apr 2013 #217

How about "all men benefit from rape"? Nye Bevan Apr 2013 #154

how about bashing rape victims? BainsBane Apr 2013 #172

Aw, Bullshit. cliffordu Apr 2013 #209

I remember "all men benefit from rape" but not "all men are potential rapists". Marr Apr 2013 #193

Why does it seem like rape is now THE favorite topic of discussion at DU? Common Sense Party Apr 2013 #215

Because rape related topics are controversial, darkangel218 Apr 2013 #264

But, when they open that door... DollarBillHines Apr 2013 #230

. Jamastiene Apr 2013 #234

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #242

ouch! That's the worst meme ever invented. delrem Apr 2013 #246

This message was self-deleted by its author Warren DeMontague Apr 2013 #256

Let me make this SIMPLE undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #257

Youre wrong. darkangel218 Apr 2013 #261

1% of rapists are women BainsBane Apr 2013 #270

I agree is very rare. But still, that proves one doesnt need a penis to rape. darkangel218 Apr 2013 #271

true, and some men use objects BainsBane Apr 2013 #272

explain.. undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #273

In some cases, rape is not about sexual gratification, but rather about power control. darkangel218 Apr 2013 #274

Your narrative is absurd dipsydoodle Apr 2013 #268

a rare few maybe but even than,they stay flaccid undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #275

Your argument is as ignorant as the judge that made the comment about "juices flowing." Behind the Aegis Apr 2013 #277

ok undergroundpanther Apr 2013 #278

Your post is nauseating on so many levels. Bonobo Apr 2013 #282

This is the most ridiculous load of crap I have read HappyMe Apr 2013 #279

"Rape is a CHOICE made in the mind of a penis owner to use that penis as a weapon" EOTE Apr 2013 #289

So all women are potential false accusers. Dreamer Tatum Apr 2013 #308

then refrescanos Jul 2013 #339

Hello ~ refrescanos In_The_Wind Aug 2013 #340

I have rape fatigue. randome Apr 2013 #288

Thank Arley for this bullshit OP bettyellen Apr 2013 #300

All people are potential criminals of all kinds treestar Apr 2013 #291

Flamebait- the Duer you are trying to slime never said that. bettyellen Apr 2013 #295

God,DU is becoming a nasty place. sufrommich Apr 2013 #298

This is a true statement, like it or not shawn703 Apr 2013 #299

Do you give out your social security number to strangers? wryter2000 Apr 2013 #301

Best answer in the thread. ^^^^ Squinch Apr 2013 #309

Thanks! wryter2000 Apr 2013 #311

No One 4Q2u2 Apr 2013 #307

The OP is a strawman. No one here said what he's claiming they said. nomorenomore08 Apr 2013 #310

OP Strawman Yes 4Q2u2 Apr 2013 #323