General Discussion

Cleita

(75,480 posts)

121. Since I'm pretty old. I'm familiar with how men thought in the past.

Sun Feb 17, 2013, 03:03 PM

Feb 2013

Some used to think that it was okay to slap a woman backhanded. Fists were definitely a no, no but backhand okay. What happened to you happened once to me. My parents had returned from a cocktail party and got into a fight. He slapped her backhanded and called her a whore. The argument was about her flirting with some young guy. She was very pretty and men were attracted to her. There was alcohol involved. My mom left him immediately, taking me with her, and they were separated for two years. They went back together then and stayed together until my father died. He never did it again and neither of them ever took an alcoholic drink again. Oh, well not entirely, my dad used to enjoy a beer or two when he went fishing but no more.

I was never privvy to what they did to bridge this other than the alcohol quitting and how they were able to forgive each other. I'm so sorry you went through this. It is awful when it happens and I can't even imagine what it's like to have to live with it every day.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

184 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Has this ever happened to you? No? Then I am glad. [View all] sheshe2 Feb 2013 OP

K&R I hope things are better for you now. MotherPetrie Feb 2013 #1

I am so sorry. I support this cause 100%. I am lucky Laura PourMeADrink Feb 2013 #2

Thank you Laura. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #4

100% Euphoria Feb 2013 #29

We can Stop this. We can! sheshe2 Feb 2013 #92

Real men are not cruel to women. Deep13 Feb 2013 #3

I am sure that really made SheShe feel better Laura PourMeADrink Feb 2013 #5

Thanks Laura. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #8

????????? nt Deep13 Feb 2013 #13

I know you didn't mean anything Laura PourMeADrink Feb 2013 #15

I was saddened somewhat and violence against women makes me angry... Deep13 Feb 2013 #87

I got what you were saying. GentryDixon Feb 2013 #120

Deep13... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #28

Sorry. Deep13 Feb 2013 #89

Deep13, I am so very sorry for what you suffered. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #165

Thanks. Deep13 Feb 2013 #169

Deep 13, although YOU did not intend tblue37 Feb 2013 #115

+10.000 smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #57

rec'd, kicked, signed, tweeted, facebooked.. annabanana Feb 2013 #6

Thank you anna. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #9

Oh, sheshe2... DollarBillHines Feb 2013 #7

Thank you DBH! sheshe2 Feb 2013 #31

Sounds similar to what I went through rurallib Feb 2013 #10

I am so sorry rurallib... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #12

oddly I had most of those memories repressed until rurallib Feb 2013 #19

Thanks for sharing that with DU. VAWA affects real women and they're being ignored. freshwest Feb 2013 #11

Oh do not make me cry, my dear freshwest. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #22

Look at this response -- you're helping the cause a LOT! gateley Feb 2013 #80

In 2010, a shocking 4,741,000 women were victims of domestic violence Bonobo Feb 2013 #14

For the sake of those of us that love stats littlemissmartypants Feb 2013 #27

Sure. Bonobo Feb 2013 #34

link says page not found. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #42

Worked for me, but here. again. Bonobo Feb 2013 #44

ok got it, Thanks. It was a download BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #50

Per your CDC chart, 1 in 5 women are raped; 1 in 71 men are raped. SunSeeker Feb 2013 #97

Thank you! nt raccoon Feb 2013 #99

And it also includes "shoves". DURHAM D Feb 2013 #108

Yes. As they say, "there are lies, damn lies...and then there are statistics." nt SunSeeker Feb 2013 #112

Predictably pathetic Helen Reddy Feb 2013 #124

Thank you so very much, SunSeeker. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #138

You showed a lot of strength in baring your soul, sheshe. SunSeeker Feb 2013 #168

And it's also worth noting that Gormy Cuss Feb 2013 #143

No but as a volunteer at my local women's shelter I recognize the pain, suffering and grief riderinthestorm Feb 2013 #16

In that respect, yes I am...it was many years ago. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #43

I can't imagine what it's like to live in the presence of that physical violence; I do know about patrice Feb 2013 #17

I really do not know if one is any worse that the other. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #49

It took a lot of work to get as past as I am from all of the verbal abuse and tpsbmam Feb 2013 #18

Thank you tpsbmam. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #55

sheshe...I am ALWAYS amazed to see that threads on women's human rights tend to sink BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #20

My father was abused as an old man in his 2nd marriage... Bonobo Feb 2013 #23

I am very sorry. I wonder, when minority folks post to raise awareness of their situation, BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #25

I see no reason why age should redefine the issue. Bonobo Feb 2013 #35

I made some edits for clarity to my post. HOWEVER, you are missing my point BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #37

I am not minimizing it. The opposite, in fact. Bonobo Feb 2013 #40

I DO NOT think a thread on the issue of male victims would be mocked. BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #47

violence againt anyone is wrong CitizenPatriot Feb 2013 #125

Thank you! He always does this. nt raccoon Feb 2013 #100

Thank you Blanche... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #58

There are just as many, if not more, abusive human females Disconnect Feb 2013 #21

a "female tantrum" as you put it, is not equivalent to abuse by someone bigger & stronger who BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #32

Again Blanche, thank you, for answering these posts, sheshe2 Feb 2013 #61

"As many, if not more" OldHippieChick Feb 2013 #45

It's a common MRA deflection.nt sufrommich Feb 2013 #107

Well, you certainly know how to win friends and influence enemies, don't you? nt. OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #54

BullSHIT. Zoeisright Feb 2013 #71

Get YOUR facts straight, not some ad hominem tantrum!!!! Disconnect Feb 2013 #153

Straight out of the MRA handbook. DURHAM D Feb 2013 #72

Where are the Equal Programss, Shelters for Battered Men?? Disconnect Feb 2013 #136

I have to wonder if the neighbors always call the police on this man? CitizenPatriot Feb 2013 #130

So where are the Battered Men's Shelters?? Disconnect Feb 2013 #135

You need a math class n/t CitizenPatriot Feb 2013 #160

Where are the men who gave up their jobs to raise children wickerwoman Feb 2013 #164

Another Ad Hominem Tantrum!!! Disconnect Feb 2013 #171

Bullshit Marrah_G Feb 2013 #151

You are full of shit alarimer Feb 2013 #162

No, dad would just hit me Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #24

I am so so sorry Tumbulu Feb 2013 #59

Yeah, it's a sad thread. Thanks for the response Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #62

'tis. good to see so much compassion, though BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #88

Funny you mention that... Demo_Chris Feb 2013 #93

I've read that yes, it is related. raccoon Feb 2013 #101

I could not sleep last night- reading the threads Tumbulu Feb 2013 #163

In my family it was my mom and me. redqueen Feb 2013 #139

IKHO it's a survival strategy. Gormy Cuss Feb 2013 #144

DEFINITELY an important post, and thread. I suppose I'm among the lucky ones - never to have calimary Feb 2013 #26

Signed the petition UtahLib Feb 2013 #30

You are a brave person, I hope things are better for you now kairos12 Feb 2013 #33

yes, here is my horrible experience with violence against women Puzzledtraveller Feb 2013 #36

god..... BlancheSplanchnik Feb 2013 #85

No, but as a medic I saw plenty nadinbrzezinski Feb 2013 #38

Thank you nadin, thank you so much! nt sheshe2 Feb 2013 #63

Le Taz Hot Feb 2013 #39

I'm hugging you tight right now, sheshe2 ReRe Feb 2013 #41

You got that right, ReRe....Let's get in the right millenn!ium sheshe2 Feb 2013 #69

I am sorry that you had to go through this, Curmudgeoness Feb 2013 #46

... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #70

Yes, it has, sheshe2. Control-Z Feb 2013 #48

OMG! I clicked on your link and I am so sorry! smirkymonkey Feb 2013 #60

Oh, Control-Z sheshe2 Feb 2013 #73

No words. JNelson6563 Feb 2013 #98

O.M.G. Helen Reddy Feb 2013 #126

Thank you. n/t pnwmom Feb 2013 #51

Your action got my signature. iemitsu Feb 2013 #52

You are welcome, iemitsu. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #77

Since victims of abuse or witnesses to abuse iemitsu Feb 2013 #91

Thanks for posting this fadedrose Feb 2013 #53

Former shelter volunteer here. Ilsa Feb 2013 #56

... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #142

Thank you, sheshe2 -- gateley Feb 2013 #64

Thanks gateley.... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #79

I can understand your reluctance to post this, but look at all the others who gateley Feb 2013 #82

gateley...your petition was a tipping point for me... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #86

Signed Gemini Cat Feb 2013 #65

Thank you, thank you, thank you PatSeg Feb 2013 #66

I saw your post PatSeg...and I thank you for that! nt sheshe2 Feb 2013 #173

I once went to the ER with a bloody nose TexasBushwhacker Feb 2013 #67

My siblings and I lived that nightmare, and worse. Most of the abuse was verbal, but he did Flatulo Feb 2013 #68

I weep for you, Flatulo sheshe2 Feb 2013 #75

The important thing is to break the cycle, as I have done. Flatulo Feb 2013 #78

We can break the cycle...yes . We can! sheshe2 Feb 2013 #81

I signed the petition. ohheckyeah Feb 2013 #74

Hi, ohheckyeah...and thank you! sheshe2 Feb 2013 #83

You're welcome. ohheckyeah Feb 2013 #84

Thank you for posting this.. bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #76

For your children, you must leave usrbs Feb 2013 #102

Thank you bama_blue_dot Feb 2013 #103

I stayed years later than I should have in a bad marriage usrbs Feb 2013 #104

+100 wickerwoman Feb 2013 #166

:( Fire Walk With Me Feb 2013 #90

I want to see, and I think it's now possible we could see, an explosion snot Feb 2013 #94

Done, sheshe! pacalo Feb 2013 #95

K&R & signed! SunSeeker Feb 2013 #96

morning kick Laura PourMeADrink Feb 2013 #105

DONE. derby378 Feb 2013 #106

Done! WinstonSmith4740 Feb 2013 #109

This message was self-deleted by its author OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #110

I'm so sorry this cruel child abuse happened to you. I wish there was someone there AnotherMother4Peace Feb 2013 #117

I'm sorry...I understand the statistics, but I didn't know where else to share my story.... OldDem2012 Feb 2013 #118

One of my favorite movie quotes: "Some of us have great stories, pretty stories. That AnotherMother4Peace Feb 2013 #119

Yes - My dad was cruel & assaulted my mom many times. I kept many secrets as AnotherMother4Peace Feb 2013 #111

Thanks. lunatica Feb 2013 #113

Men not only need to stand up for women, they need to make it clear to other men rhett o rick Feb 2013 #114

This thread is heartbreaking. redwitch Feb 2013 #116

Since I'm pretty old. I'm familiar with how men thought in the past. Cleita Feb 2013 #121

Yes. LWolf Feb 2013 #122

I was never a victim of domestic abuse. RebelOne Feb 2013 #123

You were a victim of abuse, passive abuse. Cleita Feb 2013 #127

I've only been through it from your mother's side, not yours kdmorris Feb 2013 #128

Done... Sekhmets Daughter Feb 2013 #129

like 129 malokvale77 Feb 2013 #131

sheshe.. Cha Feb 2013 #132

Oh, Cha, you too? sheshe2 Feb 2013 #147

You are amazing Number23 Feb 2013 #133

Thank you, Number23! sheshe2 Feb 2013 #148

Sheshe, you've done well in this thread. I don't talk online about such things as I can't do it. freshwest Feb 2013 #134

... sheshe2 Feb 2013 #149

Nothing as dramatic as that and I'm scarred. It's total BS that anyone who would not support strong Dark n Stormy Knight Feb 2013 #137

Men have Domestic Violence perpetrated against them by Human Females, the opposite sex also!!! Disconnect Feb 2013 #140

Don't. Be. So. Sure. J/S. WinkyDink Feb 2013 #141

To Mr. Disconnect Helen Reddy Feb 2013 #145

Good gawd, no! Iggo Feb 2013 #146

signed - Thanks for your bravery! flying_wahini Feb 2013 #150

It has. Scootaloo Feb 2013 #152

I do, Scootaloo. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #154

I got lucky as a child, I guess LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #155

Oh, LadyHawk. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #156

I haven't seen him in 16 years LadyHawkAZ Feb 2013 #157

Signing. davidthegnome Feb 2013 #158

I understand rickyhall Feb 2013 #159

So very sorry, rickyhall. sheshe2 Feb 2013 #161

Fuck the knuckle draggers sigmasix Feb 2013 #167

K & R Quantess Feb 2013 #170

Here is a video that explains VAWA Disconnect Feb 2013 #172

I'm sorry that you went through this, sheshe. No child should be part of violence. In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #174

I often wonder if there is a woman alive who hasn't been abused by some male, Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #175

imo: In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #176

Good Lord... Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #177

indeed In_The_Wind Mar 2013 #178

Healing Power...yep Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #179

Sad but true and I am so very sorry! sheshe2 Mar 2013 #181

Thanks sheshe2 Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #182

So true....sad but true. And Thank you! sheshe2 Mar 2013 #183

Thank You! Sekhmets Daughter Mar 2013 #184

Been there 2naSalit Mar 2013 #180