Spurious News: Nobel Prize Committee announces recipient of 2025 Peace Prize! [View all]
STOCKHOLM, SWEDEN (Spurious News Network) -- The Nobel Peace Prize is the most prestigious of all the Nobel Prizes, having been established by a man ashamed of the use of his greatest invention in war.
Today, the Nobel Committee announced the recipient of the Peace Prize.
"The Nobel Prize Committee is pleased to award the Peace Prize for 2025 to everyone on the face of the planet who isn't Donald Trump."
The tangible rewards of the prize are a gold medal, a diploma and 11 million Swedish Kronor, which comes to over $1 million US dollars. Since it's impossible to divide 11 million kronor among 8 billion people without using expensive scientific instruments to cut up the bills into small enough pieces, the honorarium this year was divided with one million kronor each going to Chef Jose Andres' World Kitchen and climate activist Greta Thunberg, and the rest going to Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy, who promised to use the money for humanitarian aid for Ukrainians rather than buying a bomber to deal with the problem once and for all.
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