Turning Point USA Sets "All American" Super Bowl Halftime Show

[TheProle]

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Kid Rock enters stage right and delivers a medley of white-trash rap, followed by Lee Greenwood who comes out and croons "Proud to be an American" to an effigy of Anita Bryant before doing a double-shot of Old Grand-Dad with a Schlitz chaser off of Dean Cain's flabby gut.

Stephen Baldwin, Jon Voight and James Woods then dance in from stage left, nude and oiled up and doing the can-can before collapsing with the other performers into a greasy mass of reactionary stench, after which Trump himself comes out playing a very small banjo for an encore of "She'll be Comin' 'Round the Mountain."

Caitlyn Jenner then roller-blades onto the stage and exclaims, "Wow, what a great show! What do you call your act?" after which they all cry in unison: "THE ARISTOCRATS!"