NC sheriff rules out right-wing activist as suspect in power outage after praying with her

[jmowreader]

84. Who could have possibly done this crime? Let us see...

Possible suspects:

The Hardware Department manager of the Southern Pines Lowe's. He's got twenty pallets of generators in stock his manager wants him to get rid of because they need the rack space for the spring laydown. Since hurricane season is over no one is buying generators right now, so he needed a reason to have a huge sales event. (Probability: 1/10. Most people in Southern Pines already have a generator...because, after all, they ARE in the North Carolina Hurricane Belt.)

The Moore County Board of Realtors. They want a reason for lots of people to sell their houses and move to Fayetteville, and having everyone's lights go out might convince them to do it. (Probability: about the same as the Lowe's guy. Who the hell wants to voluntarily move to Fayetteville?)

The Substation Manufacturing Division of Siemens USA. An order for a new substation would really perk up the division's quarterly numbers. (Probability: 0.5/10. His numbers are just fine the way they are, thank you very much.)

A bunch of Oath Keeper loons who want to take advantage of the bedlam to loot all the gun stores in Moore County to gear up for their civil war, using a drag show as an excuse. (Probability: 10/10. They would do this.)

Uhh...can we have the judge tack on "performing in 10 drag shows" to their sentences?