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sprinkleeninow

(20,745 posts)
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 01:48 AM 22 hrs ago

☦️ Grieving the passing of my companion girl dog 2 weeks yesterday. Suffering regret coupled with guilt I

should've could've done more in the time I had with her alone. She passed the day before the 6 year anniversary of my husband's repose.
I read where extreme grief is not unusual or unheard of.
I have a gigantic hole in my heart
Please forgive me if I have repeated myself from another post.
Only consolation which I can fix my 'knowing' on is the Church Fathers regarding animals... "ALL creation will be renewed."
33 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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☦️ Grieving the passing of my companion girl dog 2 weeks yesterday. Suffering regret coupled with guilt I (Original Post) sprinkleeninow 22 hrs ago OP
... alwaysinasnit 22 hrs ago #1
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 21 hrs ago #4
Wishing you solace. rubbersole 22 hrs ago #2
True words from your Mom and you. 🩷 sprinkleeninow 21 hrs ago #5
Forgive yourself. You did your best. Your emotion is natural but your dog would not want you beating yourself up Bernardo de La Paz 22 hrs ago #3
Some have told me same. I am accepting the pain experience given me. sprinkleeninow 21 hrs ago #6
Try this. Read my posts to your spiritual leader and see what they say Bernardo de La Paz 17 hrs ago #14
My Faith is not extreme in the explanation of suffering. sprinkleeninow 9 hrs ago #16
Please don't bold your posts, it is attention seeking. . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz 9 hrs ago #17
Sorry, my eyes are not in great shape... sprinkleeninow 9 hrs ago #18
Okay. I don't care for it, but I understand and will try to remember to not remark on it again to you. . . . . nt Bernardo de La Paz 9 hrs ago #19
Awwww, Sprink, pls don't beat yourself up. SheltieLover 21 hrs ago #7
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 9 hrs ago #20
I'm so sorry. Hope22 21 hrs ago #8
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #27
Hugs friend Duncanpup 20 hrs ago #9
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #26
I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain. Tanuki 19 hrs ago #10
🩷 ✝️ 🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #25
So sorry for your loss Nululu 19 hrs ago #11
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #24
Sorry for your pup. :( C Moon 19 hrs ago #12
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #23
Hi sprinkleinow, JMCKUSICK 19 hrs ago #13
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #22
I've experienced your grief (as have many here). I can only say that taking your time to hlthe2b 14 hrs ago #15
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 8 hrs ago #21
Condolences to you. Nt spooky3 8 hrs ago #28
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 6 hrs ago #31
May you find peace wendyb-NC 8 hrs ago #29
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 6 hrs ago #32
I am so, so sorry. Do not beat up on yourself. We all "could have done more, could have done LoisB 7 hrs ago #30
🩷🙏 sprinkleeninow 6 hrs ago #33

rubbersole

(9,616 posts)
2. Wishing you solace.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:00 AM
22 hrs ago

"The hole in your heart doesn't really go away. With time you learn to live with it." What my mother told me at 9 when my cocker spaniel "Tigger" passed. I'm still learning. Dogs are gifts to people. They just don't live long enough. Bless you.

Bernardo de La Paz

(53,892 posts)
3. Forgive yourself. You did your best. Your emotion is natural but your dog would not want you beating yourself up
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:03 AM
22 hrs ago

Your dog forgives you and never bore you ill will. You never bore your dog ill will.

Your dog would want you to be as kind to yourself as you were to your dog.

sprinkleeninow

(20,745 posts)
6. Some have told me same. I am accepting the pain experience given me.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:35 AM
21 hrs ago
My Orthodox Tradition of Faith is why I need to accept how it is affecting me even bitterly. Spiritual cleansing, bearing a cross, repentance for actually my entire life. I know this is refining through fire. I accept...

Bernardo de La Paz

(53,892 posts)
14. Try this. Read my posts to your spiritual leader and see what they say
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 06:07 AM
17 hrs ago

It is one thing to accept the pain. I think it is wise to acknowledge the pain. But wallowing in it forever is not healthy and not necessary for the "spiritual cleansing" you seek. It seems to me that an attachment to suffering is a kind of vanity and a maintenance of a lifetime of grief is a kind of pious vanity. I think your church would rather you be good and joyously do good instead of suffering.

I'd be curious if, and doubtful they would condemn you to the same lifetime of suffering you condemn your self to about your dog. I'd be interested if you replied here with a summary of what they say in response to your self condemnation to a lifetime of suffering over a dog that you loved and cared for, and their response to my posts to you.

Frankly, I think you are making a big misinterpretation of your faith, hence I think you really should have a deep discussion with a priest or similar about the true meanings. I am not christian, but I was raised christian in catholic-adjacency, and I still have my bible along with many other books.

I do not believe even your faith, which has a theology of suffering, would condemn you to a life of suffering as punishment for loving and caring for a companion animal that loved and cared for you. That seems like a diabolical reversal, a misinterpretation of the good your faith wants to do for you and others.

sprinkleeninow

(20,745 posts)
16. My Faith is not extreme in the explanation of suffering.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:46 PM
9 hrs ago
It pretty much is balanced in acknowledging short comings (sin), then repentance and finally blessed hope in achieving eternal salvation.

I'm the one who is perpetrating these emotions upon myself. Me, myself and I. Have never been through anything as intense as this. My spiritual Father encouraged confession (done), and then not to rehash sins that have been removed by salutary absolution.

There's a word prelest used in Orthodoxy meaning being puffed up thinking you're really rockin' it in the spiritual dept. but you ain't. Delusional. It could be dangerous.

I appreciate your discourse. I'm considering all...

Bernardo de La Paz

(53,892 posts)
19. Okay. I don't care for it, but I understand and will try to remember to not remark on it again to you. . . . . nt
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:57 PM
9 hrs ago

SheltieLover

(65,736 posts)
7. Awwww, Sprink, pls don't beat yourself up.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:36 AM
21 hrs ago

I'm sure you did the best you could at the time with what you had to work with.

Healing vibes to your heart. I know it hurts, like the cord connecting your heart to your beloved companion's heart has been ripped out.

Hope22

(3,806 posts)
8. I'm so sorry.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 02:42 AM
21 hrs ago

Be easy with yourself. Self questioning is a natural response. You were there and you did your best. Your grief is real and understandable. My heart is with you. 💗💗💐

Tanuki

(15,759 posts)
10. I am so sorry that you are feeling so much pain.
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 04:08 AM
19 hrs ago

I know from experience that your heart is full of kindness and compassion. I am sure your girl dog adored you and knew how much you loved her. Could it be helpful if each time you are tempted to reproach yourself, instead you took that moment to write down a memory or two of a moment of joy or comfort that you shared? That can sometimes break a downward spiral. Blessings to you, dear Sprink. Joy will come in the morning.
💕🕊💐

C Moon

(12,776 posts)
12. Sorry for your pup. :(
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 04:24 AM
19 hrs ago

We lost our beautiful Aussie mix last December.
She had cancer.
We actually paid a $10,000 surgery to keep her alive another year. Not so much for us, but just because that option was there and she was so healthy otherwise.
I miss her so much.
We have a new pup, but the missing persists. Although, it is slowly fading.

All the best.
Get a new pup. Not to replace your other, but just because so many dogs need homes and they are guaranteed to make you smile again.

JMCKUSICK

(1,724 posts)
13. Hi sprinkleinow,
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 04:33 AM
19 hrs ago

Please feel everything, take your time. I still talk to my Snuggles every day, and she died last May 5.
Please remember her, honor her, celebrate her, thank her and most off all, please love her.
Let your tears flow.
Love, John

hlthe2b

(108,924 posts)
15. I've experienced your grief (as have many here). I can only say that taking your time to
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 09:27 AM
14 hrs ago

be sad (for me it was very long walks listening to sad music on my iPhone in areas minimally populated so that I could cry at will every day for weeks--well actually months) was cathartic because I would then recover and spend all my time remembering the fun times with my doggy girl and everything that made our time together special. While I did not get another dog for quite a long time--when I got that call from a shelter that knew I'd had experience with high-energy herding dogs asking if I could foster (or adopt), I could not help but think that was my departed girl's doing. And I did.

You were given a gift which you treasured, cared for throughout their life, and now mourn. I think that is proof that you need no forgiveness. I think your beloved dog would agree if she could tell you. She'd likewise ensure that you remember the good memories.

wendyb-NC

(4,165 posts)
29. May you find peace
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 04:02 PM
8 hrs ago

I'm sorry for your loss.

It is so hard when we lose a close family member, whether they are human or animal. Take time to heal, you must do it your way and accept that we never really heal that giant hole in our heart. Always remember the loving, uplifting, one in a million times that gave you joy, or a soul connection that that changed your being, during your time together. There is eternal life, hold on to the places in your journey that bring solace and supports your emotional and spiritual healing.

LoisB

(9,896 posts)
30. I am so, so sorry. Do not beat up on yourself. We all "could have done more, could have done
Thu Apr 3, 2025, 04:52 PM
7 hrs ago

better" but know that you loved her and she loved you unconditionally. I agree with the church fathers, all creation will be renewed.

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