Donald Trump died and went to Hell...

[MiHale]

But he arrived early.

"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in, swimming to the bottom and then resurfacing, over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.

"No!" said Trump. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."

The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor, with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky... doing what she does best.

Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this!”

The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"

[JenniferJuniper]

1. Oh, God, I just saw the first three words of the title,

and my heart leapt for joy.

I'm a good deal younger than the smelly, syphilitic orange crybaby from hell, so I hope some day to experience that joy for real.

[Ferrets are Cool]

2. JMO

That "joke" is icky in so many ways. Monica doing what she does best? Really? And that is just the beginning.

[erronis]

5. I agree with you. But I laughed at the punch line.

I think I've reached enough maturity to not repeat that type of joke, but they do hit the psyche in an unexpected direction.

[2naSalit]

3. K&R!

[KS Toronado]

4. Тяцмp isn't going to like replacing Putin with Clinton.

[TNNurse]

6. I am going to have to say that this is not funny enough

to use her in this joke.

[twodogsbarking]

9. Not my type; of joke.

[AllaN01Bear]

7. run . flee . cough. cough. gag.

[barbtries]

8. i vote

that we agree to never put "donald trump died" in the title of a post on DU. you got my heart racing!

[sop]

16. Unless it's true.

[barbtries]

17. of course!

that's what i mean. for a split second there i thought it was.

[sop]

18. We can only hope.

[orangecrush]

10. ...

[machoneman]

11. Good God, if it were only true.................

[bucolic_frolic]

12. yuck /nt

[ancianita]

13. Damn!

[jmowreader]

14. No, it won't be like that at all

Trump dies and goes to Hell. The Devil greets him and tells him, “you’ve been such a shitty person we have to punish you by doing the worst possible thing to you. But we haven’t decided what that is yet so you have to sit in this room until we do.” They put him in an air conditioned room with a bed and recliner but nothing else and close the door. Every six hours a simple and fairly decent tasting meal slides through a slot.

Ten years later the Devil comes by to see how he’s doing. “This isn’t bad but when are you going to do the worst possible thing to me? I don’t have all day. I’m an important man.” The Devil tells him they’re still thinking hard about it.

One hundred years later the Devil comes back, “So, when am I going to be facing the worst possible thing?” The Devil tells him to wait.

Five hundred years later the Devil comes back.

“Look asshole, when the fuck are you going to do the worst possible thing to me?”

Satan looks at him. “You’re as fucking stupid as they say you are. THIS is the worst possible thing we can do to you.”

[Joinfortmill]

15. Oh my, I didn't see that coming.