Neighbor with dementia --- Do we worry about ourselves?

[Norrrm]

Met with one of my neighbors today for a short chat. Had not talked with him for a while. He does not drive anymore. I think he gave up his car. Told me that he has been diagnosed with short term dementia memory condition.
A five-minute chat was more than obvious. He is 21 months younger than me.
Had his own business (a store selling gifts and wedding stationary). Sold a ton of Beanie Babies when they were hot. Businessman. Good guy.
Was a real estate agent for the last 15 or 20 years.
Smart guy.
Asked the same questions a few minutes later. Very poor short-term memory.
Quit driving because he recognized the liability issues if he got in an accident.
Knew exactly the issues involved there.
Did not say if he voluntarily quit driving or if the state took his license.
Completely retired.
i offered to take him if he needed a ride.
A few minutes later, he offered to pick up stuff at the store if I needed anything.
His brother lives nearby and will let him live with him if he wants.
(He does not want to.)
.
I have been gf's caretaker for 3 1/2 years, so I see it up close and personal.
Vascular dementia. Not violent and does not wander.
I do all of her bills, banking, appts, cooking, email, driving, mail and such.
Over 95% of her time on the couch, sleeping or Fox news.
Very little interest in activities. No self-motivation.
Will finally go out to lunch with friends again.
Don't want her answering the phone unless she absolutely knows the caller.
Let the voicemail take it.
.
Read this description a long time ago.....
Everyone forgets where they put the car keys now and then.
When you forget what they are for is when you are in trouble.
I have many physical problems which really affects lifestyle.
Can still drive ok.
Both of us cannot walk worth a damn.
She mowed her own lawn until last year.
Very, very slowly. Self-powered mower. Cannot do it anymore.
...
I still have most of my marbles (I think).
When I have a brain fart and make some slight error in daily living
experiences, the imagination goes wild and
IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME!
.
.
Am I alone in this fear?

[Bayard]

1. You're definitely not alone

At almost 68, it scares the crap out of me. My Dad had dementia, my Mom had Alzheimer's. Research says there's a genetic link now, same as some mental illnesses, (high incidence in my family.)

[Diamond_Dog]

2. No, you're not alone.

My mom had dementia and I absolutely don’t want to put my family through what she put me and my sister through. I have a harder time coming up with the word I want to say sometimes and it scares me.

[brush]

6. Keep reading and posting here on DU. It helps keep our brains sharp and actively making us think.

[Diamond_Dog]

8. I think getting out of the house,

talking with other people, getting exercise, reading, turning off the tv all helps. Mr. Diamond and I are both crossword puzzle fans, too. He likes to garden and I try and keep up with my artwork.

My mom, after my dad died, just sort of lost any interest in life, she stayed home and watched TV most of the time.

[brush]

9. Sure, all of that. Keeps tge brain active.

[stopdiggin]

3. No, not alone.

We all monitor ourselves - and agonize/dread (at least to some degree?) a little bit.
And - given what is going on around us (every day) - the 'issue' is right there in front of us - and kind of 'in your face'. So, the more irrational take (in my opinion anyhow) is not to have any awareness or concern ?

But, having said that ... Whatta' ya gonna' do ? Frustrating ...

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[brush]

4. I think reaing and posting on DU keeps our brains opperating and staying sharp.

[bigendian]

5. It would worry me more if he was heavily armed.

You can take “pop pop’s” car keys but you can’t take away his guns.

[SWBTATTReg]

7. IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME! . . Am I alone in this fear?

No, you're not alone in having this fear. Lots of us have this fear, and personally, I think it's a good thing in a way, to keep us alert and on our toes. One of the biggest fears I have is that your mind will go before you know it. Scary, but it does happen.

To counter it, keep your doctor appts. If you have an 'episode' of forgetfulness, jolt it down on a calendar and keep track of these events too, perhaps some sort of pattern will help somehow. Perhaps some outside environmental factors, such as hot and muggy weather outside could factor in such events.

Develop and maintain daily routines that keep your physical and mental facilities active and alert. If you don't have a regular one-on-one communications w/ anyone in the outside world, develop and engage in some activities that will help keep you active and mentally active by doing things with others, on a regular basis. Keep in contact w/ others your same age, most of us do have friends still around, that our age, give or take a few years. Keeping in check w/ each other helps all of us.

I am not a specialist by any means, these are just things I do, to keep myself mental and active. I'm not a spring chicken by any means, but I am still here, I'm still alive, and want to experience a full life as much as I can, at its finest and fullest. We all do.

[ms liberty]

10. We lost my MiL to it on Apr 27th, she'd been in memory care for just a few weeks less than a year

My husband is terrified he'll get it, both his mom and dad had it. Different types.
His mom was a teacher, very educated, and a really nice person. After dementia, she was mean as a snake and accused us of every crime in the book. She died when her body forgot how to swallow.
My FiL was not a nice or happy guy. After dementia, he didn't remember who my husband was, but he had turned into a sweet old guy who was friendly and nice. Then he became one of the first people in NC to die of COVID.

[peacebuzzard]

11. No you are not, Norrrm

I have had my round of accidents this past year.
I think it started when my doc gave me a statin prescription that plummeted my BP.
I was in a fog and numb emotionally, and felt like I was in a maze.
After a couple of really bad mistakes, I decided the meds were the culprit and I quit taking them. I got back to my usual self, but somehow felt disturbed and numb.
I also had a couple of other medical events: a concussion and trigeminal neuralgia, which were both awful events to go through.
A chiropractor helped with the trigeminal, and I went to a brain surgeon because the pain was so bad. The neurosurgeon had a terrible prognosis if the pain were to continue.
The chiropractor alleviated the pain.
My brain scans came up normal except for the facial nerves, causing the trigeminal.
Since then, I have been conscious of everything I do because I am the only caretaker in my small family. Without my administration of finances, everyone would suffer.
My 2 other family members are disabled emotionally and cognitively. It is not easy; they take up much of my time.
I have many senior moments I guess you call it; I attribute it to a busy lifestyle with so many distractions. I still work, although it is physically draining, and I am slacking on my physical fitness routines, which I really need to do. When I avidly work out, things get better. But there are so many things to do, and I wish I could one day get back to the physical fitness as avidly as I used to. It helps tremendously.