Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with army of turtles, police say

[TexasTowelie]

BREVARD COUNTY, Fla. – A man yelling obscenities, calling himself a saint and threatening to send his turtle army to destroy everyone has been arrested, according to an affidavit from the Indialantic Police Department.

Officers responded to at least seven calls about disturbances at Starbucks Coffee, Surfanista Café and Sassy Granny’s Smoothies along N. Miramar Avenue.

Thomas Devaney Lane, 61, went with an officer to the police department, where he yelled at the dispatcher in the lobby while pounding on the walls and glass, police said.

Lane then left the department but was later located at a 7-Eleven on Fifth Avenue.

As an officer stood by, Lane called 911 and told the operator, “I need to leave now or you will all be sorry you (expletive) with the saint,” according to the affidavit.

Read more: https://www.clickorlando.com/news/2019/04/12/florida-man-threatens-to-destroy-everyone-with-army-of-turtles-police-say/

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. A turtle army. Just another thing to worry about, I guess.

[emmaverybo]

2. I could use a turtle saint. Not sure what for though. I hope if this is a real turtle army, he is

seeing they get supplies, rest, recreation.

[magicarpet]

3. Is it the water ?

Is there something toxic in the water down there ?

[Karadeniz]

10. My reaction exactly!

[lkinwi]

4. I wonder if his turtles are related to Moscow Mitch? 😃

[Mopar151]

5. He's a "snake head turtle"

No need to associate him with the noble terrapin.

[2naSalit]

12. I thought he was

a turtle-headed snake.

[underpants]

6. I'd think the Sassy Granny's Smoothie would counter the caffeine

but, hey, what do I know? I’m not the leader of a turtle Army.

[Harker]

11. How do we know that?

Do we simply take your word for it?

[underpants]

14. Yes

[Tree-Hugger]

7. ....

I, for one, welcome our new turtle overlords.

[safeinOhio]

13. You can out run them,

but not forever. Ask the bunny.

[ret5hd]

8. They are gradually advancing on us sir!

[Newest Reality]

9. Of course!

The World rests on a turtle that rests on a turtle, etc., all the way down.

This is a sign of the end. When the turtles go, so do we. Egads!

[eppur_se_muova]

15. If one turtle can break democracy, think of the damage an army could wreak ! nt