Dumb criminals: Jailed Jerry Springer fan faces assault charges. You know which state.

[47of74]

Someone really wanted to watch Jerry Springer.

Donnie Floyd, 57, and other prisoners at the Clearwater jail were watching a movie one afternoon last month when Antron Laquay Smith, 32, “insisted on watching the Jerry Springer Show at 1600 hours as he does every day.”

Smith, seen at right, is a convicted felon with a monstrously long rap sheet that includes arrests for child abuse, domestic battery, grand theft, burglary, robbery, cocaine trafficking, kidnapping, aggravated assault, and aggravated battery on a pregnant victim. He is awaiting trial on various felonies related to his alleged activities as a pimp.

After Smith demanded to watch “Springer,” Floyd “spoke up,” an investigator reported. Smith then allegedly attacked his fellow inmate and took Floyd’s “commissary and flushed it down the toilet.”

As a result of the confrontation, Smith missed a “Springer” episode that featured a woman confessing to her boyfriend that she slept with his roommate Mike. In another segment, a man got down on bended knee to propose to his girlfriend, who ruined the moment by admitting that she slept with his friend Tobias.

I had no idea Springer was still on the air.

I got this.

[drm604]

1. How do you flush a commissary down a toilet?

I don't think either type would fit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commissary

A commissary is a government official charged with oversight.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commissary_%28store%29

A commissary is a store for provisions.

[47of74]

2. I'm thinking they meant ticket or some such.

[drm604]

3. I'm sure they did, but it's terrible reporting.

[Initech]

4. JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!