Counsel for a 'dark night of the soul' from one of America's top grief experts

[mahatmakanejeeves]

PERSPECTIVE | OPINION
Counsel for a ‘dark night of the soul’ from one of America’s top grief experts

We tend to give people a limited time to feel sad. But grieving people need to feel what they feel, for as long as they need to feel it, in whatever way they need to feel it

Published: July 12, 2025, 8:59 p.m. MDT

Attendees react during a vigil for flooding victims at Tivy Antler Stadium on Wednesday, July 9, 2025, in Kerrville, Texas. Ashley Landis, Associated Press

By Joanne Cacciatore
Joanne Cacciatore is a research professor at Arizona State University and founder of the MISS Foundation.

I work with families who have experienced the death of an infant or a child, or a homicide or a suicide. These are really traumatic experiences. For instance, the death of a child is known across cultures as being one of life’s greatest sufferings.

Yet I think in general, we as a society don’t know how to cope with others’ suffering, and even our own suffering. We often try to circumvent it. We use whatever we can to distract ourselves from being able to tolerate our own painful, human emotions.

In the wake of devastating flooding in Texas, here are a few tips that I’ve found help others work through their own sorrow, grief and emotional pain with more skill and grace:

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[Girard442]

1. Good article. I've lost people dear to me and I was fortunate to have people around me who lived her words.

I have never lost anyone due to the malfeasance of someone. That would seem to me to be an even greater burden to bear.