Having an extra-marital affair is...

[Taverner]

What are your thoughts on it?

19 votes, 1 pass | Time left: Unlimited
	Wrong in all circumstances
	11 (58%)
	Wrong in most circumstances
	2 (11%)
	Niether wrong nor right
	5 (26%)
	Right in most circumstances
	0 (0%)
	Right in all circumstances
	0 (0%)
	Huh?
	1 (5%)
	1 DU member did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[femmocrat]

1. Why do you ask?

Maybe you are "lusting in your heart"???

[Iggo]

9. I smell flowers.

[Chan790]

2. Poly?

It's a-okay if your SO says you can.

[OmahaBlueDog]

3. More complication than I want in my life

If David Petraeus, head of the world's most powerful spy organization, can't hide his indiscretions, then I'm too stupid to hide mine.

..and besides, I have no desire to cheat on the lovely Mrs. OBD.

[sarisataka]

4. A very fast way

to finding out which religion (if any) is correct :

[waddirum]

5. I would have voted "FUN"

if that was an option.

[bluedigger]

6. ...seldom worth the consequences.

[lutefisk]

7. ... Newt Gingrich

[Behind the Aegis]

8. No one's business except those involved.

I don't think extra-marital affairs are all bad. Different people have different needs, and if those are set up in advance, then why the need to judge?

[dr.strangelove]

10. By "affair" I assume one party in the marriage does not consent

in which case, it is wrong. If the relationship members have agreed to allow such activity without informing the other, then its not really an affair, its just a night out.

But its really up to the people in the relationship. Maybe one consented later, forgiving the behavior. All I know is my wife would never consent or forgive it.

[Spike89]

17. Yup, it isn't the act, but the deception

Deceiving anyone is always wrong, but it often mitigated (white lies). Having the sex is almost always a good thing, but often is sullied by circumstances.

[dr.strangelove]

40. relationships

I think the most important foundation piece of any relationship is trust. When you are in a committed relationship, the loss of trust that is accompanied by cheating is often what causes it to fail. Its not jealousy or anger, just the end of the trust.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

32. would you consent or forgive it?

[dr.strangelove]

41. of course not

I was trying to be funny. I would not expect my wife to forgive it, nor would I forgive it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

42. just making sure -

[Ken Burch]

11. "something you should blog about?" n/t.

[Chan790]

12. +1

Especially if you live in DC. It's a great way to get a book-deal or boost sales of your book.

(Really, it seems that infidelity is the sport of the entitled and powerful in DC. Every time it happens, it makes a star out of some person ugly on the inside willing to make a buck off hurting people for public attention.)

[retread]

13. Huh?

[rurallib]

14. i thought 'dangerous' first

[TrogL]

15. What if your wife hooks you up?

[nolabear]

16. There have been circumstances where a spouse has disappeared, is in extremis, etc.

It could be understandable. Being alone forever is not something I'd wish on anyone.

[bigwillq]

18. None of my business!

[MrSlayer]

19. It depends.

There is no black and white answer. It's always wrong if you have a willing partner. It's never wrong if your spouse is cool with it. It's sometimes ok if you really love your spouse but they are unwilling or incapable.

It's complicated.

[Taverner]

20. Sorry for an unrelated question but....

Your sig is "If we must do evil to prevent evil there is nothing worth saving."

Yet your avatar is Andrew Jackson, who would have been cited for genocide had the Hague existed back then.

Not trying to attack - just asking if you know the dichotomy

[MrSlayer]

21. I'm a great lover of irony.

And the world wasn't sophisticated enough for a Hague to exist back then. Through the eyes of today he most certainly was guilty of crimes against humanity. In his time he was a bold, take no shit pioneer.

But to answer your question, yes. I am aware. Keeps people off balance.

[Kaleva]

22. No president today could get away with publicly threatening to hang his (former)VP

[MrSlayer]

23. Different times for sure.

Dudes were just much bigger badasses back then. Old Hickory would beat the hell out of prissy wusses like Mitch McConnell and John Boner. There would be none of the crap that Obama has to put up with. Jackson would kill these people, literally.

[Kaleva]

29. I think Cleveland is the only President who executed a condemned prisoner

If I recall correctly, Cleveland, when sheriff of Buffalo, hanged a prisoner sentenced to death.

[MrSlayer]

30. Yes, two of them.

He actually held the title of executioner.

Jackson, on the other hand, killed a guy in a duel for insulting him and beat the hell out of a would be assassin with his cane. Not a guy to mess with.

[Kaleva]

31. And I think Jackson was shot by a man who later became a U.S Senator

[Spider Jerusalem]

46. That would be Thomas Hart Benton

who was, in the Senate, a political ally of Jackson's and a staunch Democrat.

[rug]

24. Nowadays we can't even get an indictment.

[rug]

25. Your answer should be the same as your wife's.

[ZombieHorde]

28. Agreed. nt

[lastlib]

26. ...something I'd almost kill for...

...if I was married!

[ZombieHorde]

27. Right and wrong comes from the observor, and not the matter or event being observed.

Extra-marital affairs in a loving, monogamous relationship can be extremely hurtful.

Extra-marital affairs in an arranged marriage can be extremely dangerous, but also very understandable.

Extra-marital affairs in a loving, open relationship can be extremely exciting, and can also help bring the couple closer together.

[Chan790]

33. How very empirical of an answer.

"Right and wrong comes from the observor, and not the matter or event being observed."

Really, that's some sort of brilliant moral empiricism. I wonder what David Hume would make of it...on one hand, he was the father of empiricism, responsible for that aged question "If a tree falls in the forest and there is nobody to hear it, does it make a sound?"; on the other, he was a conservative judgmental prat.

[yawnmaster]

34. And look! the poll has over 80 observers! eom

[ZombieHorde]

35. What? Is this a joke based on number of views?

Sorry, but I don't understand.

[Ex Lurker]

36. I had an affair and don't regret it

I am a single man, my partner was married at the time. Although we didn't consummate it until after my partner and her spouse were separated, we met while they were still living under the same roof. Her husband was cold, distant, borderline abusive, and they hadn't had sex in over a year. We met online through a mutual friend. Spent a lot of time together online and on the phone, met a few times, but as I stated before, we didn't consummate the relationship while she and her husband were together. Not that we weren't willing, but it seemed it would add needless risk and complication.

Her divorce becomes final in a few weeks, and we plan to continue our relationship. I don't know where it will go from here, but under the same circumstances I would do so again.

[dawg]

47. "cold, distant, borderline abusive, and they hadn't had sex in over a year ..."

I wonder if some guy out there believed all those same things about me? Probably. It helps with the guilt.

[Taverner]

50. +100

[flvegan]

37. Done at your own peril, because you know better. n/t

[rDigital]

38. Regardless of morality, there are some VERY serious risks to consider. nt

[hrmjustin]

39. I think they are wrong, but God did not make judge and jury.

To me that means I should not sit in judgement of others. I could not sleep with a married man, because I do not want the sin of adultery on my soul.

[silentwarrior]

43. Just so long as the

other half can have one too

[Brigid]

44. "Stupid."

You forgot that one.

[mnhtnbb]

45. Trouble.

Better to sort out why--if tempted--and deal with the issues. Separate, if necessary.

[MadrasT]

48. None of my business if it isn't my marriage.

[Taverner]

49. +100

[La Lioness Priyanka]

53. agreed

[Tuesday Afternoon]

51. a long and winding road.

[cantbeserious]

52. My Ex-Wife's Affair Ended Our Marriage

eom