The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsA beautiful woman makes one catastrophic error in judgment, and it affects her life
44 years ago today, this lovely woman decided to commit to spending the rest of her life with me.
I just couldn't bring myself to tell her what she was getting herself into.
Fortunately for me, she still hasn't noticed the gravity of her mistake
= new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight:
NoneDon't highlight anything
5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I'm glad love is blind and my wife has also been able to overlook my many defects.
DFW
(60,310 posts)She saw my defects, but undertook it as a professional challenge to try and improve the situation.
She's still trying.
magicarpet
(18,764 posts)... don't let the secret out.
Fake it as best you can,... that you are just perfect.
DFW
(60,310 posts)And I think she would probably let you know in no uncertain terms. I t5hink she just considers me an intriguing long-term project.
magicarpet
(18,764 posts)... you guys are hanging around together.
Happy Anniversary to you love birds.
DFW
(60,310 posts)She is a gourmet chef to boot. VERY appealing 
LakeVermilion
(1,599 posts)It will be 58 years in December. Just after the "Summer of Love!"
DFW
(60,310 posts)
Diamond_Dog
(40,737 posts)You have a lovely family!
DFW
(60,310 posts)....and she is nearsighte!
FakeNoose
(41,887 posts)Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. DFW!
lindalou65
(394 posts)It was my parent's favorite song and they are both gone now but I always think of them when I hear this song. Thank you for the music.
murielm99
(33,011 posts)DFW
(60,310 posts)
debm55
(61,065 posts) DFW
(60,310 posts)
cachukis
(3,987 posts)DFW
(60,310 posts)There are actually Americans out there who bother to learn German?
cachukis
(3,987 posts)DFW
(60,310 posts)After we met in 1974 in Berlin, she thought it was a nice summer fling, and that she would never see me again. To her, America was like the dark side of the moon. She knew it was there, but never thought she would ever see it. On the other hand, I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I lost her. It took a lot of transatlantic travel, and me convincing my future employer that it would be useful to have me in Europe a lot.
mwmisses4289
(4,368 posts)🥂Here's to many more years of happiness! 🥂🍻🎉
DFW
(60,310 posts)Last edited Sun Apr 12, 2026, 01:34 PM - Edit history (1)
But we have nothing against proving her wrong, although she put out an ad decades ago that warned that it was not nice to fool Mother Nature
Grim Chieftain
(1,840 posts)Wishing you many more years of love, health and happiness.
DFW
(60,310 posts)She has had cancer twice, and I have chronic heart issues.
But still—we were 22 when we met, and we’re 74 now. It has been a good run, and we’ll press our luck as far as we can.
some_of_us_are_sane
(3,335 posts)
DFW
(60,310 posts)Last edited Sun Apr 12, 2026, 04:22 PM - Edit history (1)
I may be stupid, but I'm not so stupid that I don't remember that every day.
SheltieLover
(81,087 posts)
As the friendly natives say.......
dawn5651
(778 posts)
Clouds Passing
(8,028 posts)
peppertree
(23,396 posts)A Very Happy Anniversary to you both, DFW. All the Best! 
DFW
(60,310 posts)KT2000
(22,169 posts) 
niyad
(132,953 posts)Thank you for bringing us along on this catastrophic error!
DFW
(60,310 posts)And as long as she doesn't notice hers, I'm still safe
niyad
(132,953 posts)I've managed to keep it from her all these years!
AltairIV
(1,054 posts)
fierywoman
(8,607 posts)DFW
(60,310 posts)We actually managed to celebrate this one together!
orangecrush
(30,615 posts) highplainsdem
(62,509 posts)can't get back in time for dinner?
DFW
(60,310 posts)
DinahMoeHum
(23,635 posts) 
kbowman
(22 posts)It's nice to hear good news and I am happy for you, Congratulations! (my wife and I are up there also). There is so much bad news these days. As I grow older I realize just how scummy so many people are - whether it's from the news or looking back at the people I worked with over the years. Enjoy your time together! Time is fleeting.
DFW
(60,310 posts)At age 22, we thought 44 was old, and 74 was ancient.
We could have told our 22 year old selves a thing or two.
“Ah, but I was so much older then. I’m younger than that now.”
hamsterjill
(17,642 posts)All the very best...
DFW
(60,310 posts)WestMichRad
(3,304 posts)her judgment as a catastrophic error. From the small sampling of your posts that I’ve read, her judgment of you was excellent. As was yours of her.
Congratulations and happy anniversary!
DFW
(60,310 posts)In the beginning, nerd that I was, I wondered why a woman like that, who could have had any man she wanted, chose me, of all people. I “knew” she could have done better, but she was far more clever than I was in knowing what “better” really meant in the long run. She taught me. i learned.
WestMichRad
(3,304 posts)I’m in a similar situation: most definitely, I really lucked out with marriage!
gademocrat7
(11,967 posts)Celebrate!🥂💙
DFW
(60,310 posts)We did a few chores, and then we went up t5o the Gasometer in Oberhausen for an incredible exhibit on the world's forests (Avatar, take note). Then we took a train back down to Düsseldorf for a fabulous Lebanese dinner. The restaurant even brought us out a volcano firework for our table. Then, almost too full to move, we got a train back up to the airport, where we has left her car, Now, I have4 hours to pack and get a nap before going back to the airport to get my plane down to Madrid, where I pick up the plane to Washington.
lindalou65
(394 posts)and many more to come!
blm
(114,693 posts)You’re both fortunate, Mr DFW.
DFW
(60,310 posts)As long as no one comes along to tell her she could have done better, she won't hear it from me!!
airplaneman
(1,391 posts)If my wife was perfect she would have married better
-Airplane
DFW
(60,310 posts)I wasn’t the only one who noticed her looks. But what I instantly appreciated was her total lack of arrogance about them. It was as if she had no idea of the effect her looks had on men, and found superficial attention supremely annoying. What blew me away (beyond the obvious) was her completely natural way. She was just about the easiest person to get along with that I had ever met.
NNadir
(38,192 posts)Like you, I married a beautiful woman, although I confess I had no idea when I met her what a "beautiful woman" might actually be.
My wife's previous lovers were all better looking than me, and I believe, smarter and richer than I am.
What my only advantage was that I knew and understood what it is to and how to love someone, and as my wife's experience with other men was that they saw her as an object, an item of display.
You clearly love your wife profoundly, and in so doing, you give her what few others might have done, unconditional and absolute love.
When I was a kid, and I used to play in folk clubs, I had a rendition of Dave Van Ronk's Motherless Children which had this verse:
You know your wife or your husband will be good to you, when your mother is dead.
Yes your wife or your husband will be good to you, but nobody loves you like your mother do.
Motherless children have a hard time when your mother is dead.
Van Ronk said he could tell a lie, but he sure couldn't sing one.
I found I was singing a lie, albeit after the fact. My mother loved me, but not like my wife does.
I certainly love my wife more than her mother did, and I suspect, without any direct knowledge, you love your wife more than any other person ever has.
There is, I think, nothing more precious than that.
This is why it wasn't a mistake, which I'm pretty sure, knowing next to nothing about her, she knows quite well.
Congratulations on a life of love well lived.
DFW
(60,310 posts)I never met my wife’s previous boyfriends. While they might have been better-looking (no monumental accomplishment), they weren’t smarter, because they were no longer with her. At age 22, none of us were wealthy, and she wasn’t impressed by that anyway. Our younger daughter has had enormous professional success, and for over ten years has earned many multiples of what I do. My wife is happy for her, but not impressed (I confess to both).
You and I have something interesting in common. i used to play in folk clubs in my younger days, too. In fact, my wife and I met in one of them. West Berlin, 1974. She told me later that one of the standard pick-up lines was “I play guitar.” I had no idea about that. When we were introduced, I didn’t mention it, but she had seen me perform, so she knew I played, and appreciated that I didn’t bring it up.
Several years later, we saw Dave Van Ronk performing in Boston, so his name is well-known to us as well. I’ll bet that doesn’t apply to many of us!!
After 52 years of knowing her, I cannot conceive of an existence without her. Since we are now 74, the time is upon us when Mother Nature could take one of us away at any time, and we know it. If I go first, I know she’ll manage. She is that strong. If I lost her, I would be a useless wreck, a genuine rudderless ship in the middle of the ocean. I’ll settle for keepin’ on keepin’ on.
Lovie777
(23,170 posts) And back atcha!
malthaussen
(18,587 posts)DFW
(60,310 posts)Last edited Tue Apr 14, 2026, 08:39 AM - Edit history (1)
You wake up one day, 44 years later, and think, “damn! I could have had….”
There’s a great pair of lines in an old Billy Joel song:
But you know that when the truth is told,
You can get what you want or you can just get old.
I like to think I got what I wanted. All kidding aside, she says she did, too. Like Estelle Ramey once said, I have loved, I have been loved. The rest is background music.
malthaussen
(18,587 posts)Talk about hard to believe...
-- Mal
DFW
(60,310 posts)But for fifty-two years, she has had the option to walk, and hasn't made use of that option.