Tesla responds to claims Cybertruck is "too ugly" by announcing something even worse
AUSTIN, TEXAS (Spurious News Network) -- "You guys all said there could never be an uglier car than my beautiful Cybertruck," said Tesla chief troll Elon Musk at a press conference in the Texas capital today. "In just a few minutes I bet you'll never say that again."
Tesla, manufacturer of groundbreaking electric cars, today announced the Model H. "H is for Homer. There was an episode of The Simpsons, my favorite show, in which Homer was asked to design a car for the common man. We have created an exact replica of that car, except that the Model H is, like all Teslas, electric."
The "Homer" car in The Simpsons was created to be intentionally ugly, and so is the Model H. "By building a car even uglier than the taxes I fled California over," said Musk, "we hope to highlight the beauty of our fantastic Cybertruck."
The Model H has many unusual and exotic features. "We put two glass domes on the Model H, just like the Homer had," said Musk. "One of them will hold 35 children, which means I'll finally be able to take my whole family for a ride in the same car. There's a Duff Beer tap on the dashboard. We had problems with this because it's hard to find Duff Beer, but we're going to build a brewery. No one will ever get a DUI in the Model H because it has no steering wheel or pedals, it's strictly an autonomous car. Just tell it where you want to go and it takes you right there. Its range on a full charge is 3600 miles, allowing you to drive from Key West, Florida, to Seattle without stopping to recharge. It also has a refrigerator, freezer, range and toilet so you won't have to stop for meals or bathroom breaks either. All in all, it's the perfect car at only $420,710 fully equipped."
While the Model H was originally intended to be a one-off creation, deposits from Tesla fans quickly overloaded the company's website - leading Tesla to announce plans to make the Model H in a new factory being built in Cape Town, South Africa. For either $10,000 or "a brick of good shit, man" your new car, if that's what it is, will be made sometime in 2026.
We contacted Simpsons creator Matt Groening for comment. "Apparently Elon didn't watch to the end of 'Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?' If he had he would have known The Homer put his half-brother's car company out of business. Yeah, this doesn't sound like all that good of an idea to me." When asked if he was planning a copyright infringement suit, Groening said, "some acts are self-punishing, and this is one of them. He offered to pay for a license to the Duff Beer trademark by giving us the first Model H, but we told him we were good without it."
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What could go wrong 
