OK, please help settle an argument over song lyrics.

[LuckyCharms]

Lyrics from a Grateful Dead song called "Black Throated Wind".

"I've" is the person singing the song

"You've" is whomever the person is singing the song to.

Here's the lyric:

"You've done better by me, than I've done by you".

Question: Which of the two people was "wronged". Or conversely, which of the two people treated the other person better?

[sl8]

1. "me" was better treated than "you"

It could have been phrased as, "You treated me better than I treated you". Might not work as well as lyrics, though.

[mobeau69]

2. I thought this was going to be about "Louie Louie". LOL!

By the Kingsmen.

[Walleye]

3. Oh baby we gotta go now🎼

[mobeau69]

5. Wasn't that on the B side? What was on the A side?

A cool thread would be What B sides became hits like “Be true to your School” by The Beach Boys. What was the A side?

For new players we’re talking ‘bout 45s. LOL.

[lastlib]

15. It was the B side on Richard Barry's original release (1956?)

The A side was "You Are My Sunshine".

It was the A side of The Kingsmens version.

[mobeau69]

18. You might get a boot out for this:

https://amp.indystar.com/amp/2240339002

[petronius]

4. It's ambiguous on its own, but in context of the rest of the lyrics

I'd say it was the person singing who did the wronging...

[Wolf Frankula]

6. It's we've

And both sides are wrong.

Wolf

[LuckyCharms]

7. My wife and I disagree...

I think "You've done better by me" means "I treated you better".

She thinks the opposite.

The lyrics are purposely ambiguous.

[sl8]

9. Does this help at all?

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/do%20well%20by%20%28someone%29

Definition of do well by (someone)
: to treat (someone) well
The company did well by me when I retired.

It really doesn't seem ambiguous to me.

[LuckyCharms]

12. Yes, by the strict definition...

but in my region anyway, people will say something like (and I'm cursing here because it is usually said with an emphasis) such as:

"Hey listen, don't give me any of your shit, because you've done pretty goddamn good by me".

So if I'm reading the definition correctly, it means that the company treated the person well when they retired?

The way it would be heard where I live is:

"I gave my soul to the company, but they fucked me over anyway when I retired".

[sl8]

14. Maybe a regionalism?

This guy discusses the song and mentions that he's had disagrements with folks on those particular lyrics:

https://www.dead.net/features/greatest-stories-ever-told/greatest-stories-ever-told-black-throated-wind

[LuckyCharms]

16. Thanks for the great read!

Yes, I think my confusion on the lyric has to do with regionalism...the way that phrase is actually used by people where I live.

[stopdiggin]

8. I honestly had to work to see any ambiguity in this

'done better' can be used meaning in terms of things tangible - position, finance, etc. But it seems clear to me that what is being talked about here are emotions and relationship - not coin of the realm - and in that context, it's just really hard to see the person delivering the verse as saying, "I done more for you .." "I loved you truer and better"

Pretty harsh wouldn't you say? And kind of hard to picture.

[LuckyCharms]

10. Well, I think the lyrics of the entire song are ambiguous

so it's hard for me to tell if it is harsh, even when that one line is taken in context.

Both John Barlow and Robert Hunter (main songwriters for the Grateful Dead) wrote songs in such a way that multiple interpretations could be made.

[stopdiggin]

17. and that I will freely concede

lots of good poetry, prose, art .... imagination and interpretation.

[jcgoldie]

11. I always thought it was self effacing

I'm a big head and thats always been one of my favorite Bobby songs. Plus I live just outside St.Louis and so they play it every time through including last fall. None of that means anything but I took that line to be an admission that the narrator was on the short end of the karma stick...

[LuckyCharms]

13. "I'm drowning in you"

The other person is causing his suffering, right?

[wishstar]

19. Singer is admitting to being more in the wrong and decides to go back home

At the end after admitting to having lying eyes and being in denial but finally acknowledging that the other person treated them better than the singer had treated them, singer decides to return home to the other person.