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The Borowitz Report: Prince Andrew Announces He Will Move to America Where Government Protects Pedophiles
Link: https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/prince-andrew-announces-he-will-move
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—On Friday Prince Andrew announced that he was moving to America, hailing it as “a country whose government protects pedophiles.”
“My bags are packed for Washington, D.C.,” the disgraced royal told reporters at Heathrow airport. “If you’re a pedophile, it’s a sanctuary city.”
“If the federal government has a list of pedophiles—poof—it vanishes into thin air,” he said. “And I’m told there’s a chap named Mike Johnson whose entire job is to protect blokes like me.”
Despite such lavish praise, the Trump administration gave the news of Andrew’s relocation a chilly response. “President Trump has never met Prince Andrew,” said newly-appointed White House press secretary George Santos.
- short article - no more at link -
“My bags are packed for Washington, D.C.,” the disgraced royal told reporters at Heathrow airport. “If you’re a pedophile, it’s a sanctuary city.”
“If the federal government has a list of pedophiles—poof—it vanishes into thin air,” he said. “And I’m told there’s a chap named Mike Johnson whose entire job is to protect blokes like me.”
Despite such lavish praise, the Trump administration gave the news of Andrew’s relocation a chilly response. “President Trump has never met Prince Andrew,” said newly-appointed White House press secretary George Santos.
Sick burn!
I'm hoping Prince Andrew will come here and RELEASE the EPSTEIN DOCUMENTS!
5 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
If he remains in England he's got some privacy and security, he can live on Windsor family property and manage his investments. His family and children are there and most of his old aristocratic friends. If he came here he wouldn't have any of that, and it would be an expensive move that he would regret.
