How to get more comfortable with death

[Celerity]

https://psyche.co/guides/how-to-deal-with-death-anxiety-with-the-help-of-cbt



Are you troubled by the thought that life is just too short? Would you feel deeply uncomfortable walking through a cemetery? Have you ever experienced a jolt of panic upon realising a celebrity has died? Does the thought of death itself often cause you significant distress?

If the answer to any of these questions is ‘yes’, you are not alone. Having negative feelings in response to thoughts and reminders of death is something all humans must grapple with from a young age – and it is more intense for some people than for others. The term ‘death anxiety’ is commonly used to refer to the negative emotions one might have about death. It includes anxious feelings, of course, but these might coexist with feelings of dread, sadness or anger.

Just as people’s emotions about death can vary, so too does the specific focus of those emotions. For example, some people might be worried about their own death, while others are far more concerned about the eventual death of a loved one. One person might fear the concept of non-existence, whereas another might be terrified that dying will be painful. All of these different responses to death can be considered examples of death anxiety.

The strong aversion to death has been wired into humans through millions of years of evolution, a way of helping to keep us safe and protect the species. As a result, it is normal to have some anxiety about the idea of death. You can think of death anxiety as existing on a spectrum, with very low anxiety at one end and very high anxiety at the other. Each of us will find ourselves sitting somewhere on this spectrum, and a number of things are predictive of where someone will sit. For example:

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[no_hypocrisy]

1. I'm 66+ and have been musing about my eventual demise.

It could be today, tomorrow, 20 years or so. I'm just grateful we're not born with a calendar date of our death.

When my mother was dying in the hospital, she asked me where did I think we go when we die. I gave her the advice a dear friend gave me.

I asked my mother where was she before she was born. She said she didn't know. I told her that she was returning to pre-existence. In other words, she was renting a house and the lease was up. You just move on.

It gave her comfort.

I told my cardiologist and primary care physician that all I want from them is vitality in my last years. I'm OK with death on a certain level. I believe it "gets real" when, like my mother, you realize you don't have to bother balancing your checkbook before death is that imminent.

Finally, I prefer to consider death (if free of pain and suffering) as a transformation, a transition. I'm not ready for it .... yet.

[3Hotdogs]

2. I ain't worried about death. No more "me" makes me sad, but not scared. BUT

it is the process of dying that worries me. How much pain and discomfort will I experience? How much distress to my kids?

I recently concluded that having kids was a mistake. Creating someone who will have to go through the same experiences.

[mitch96]

3. Never much thought about my demise until I had to figure out my retirement planning ..

The counselor at work asked how much money would I need in retirement and that would determine how much to sock away. Ok, how much money per week am I gonna need till I die.TILL I DIE? wait, what? when is that? 70? 80? 90?
Then it hit me.. Death.. when are you gonna die? Shit I don't know. And it's gonna happen.
That's when it hit me.
I think of that classic line by jazz piano player Eubie Blake...
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
He died at 96..

All we have is today, right now. Make the best of it cause it's all we have..
m

[Karadeniz]

4. There are many near death videos on YouTube that are comforting. Of course, many here will

Insist that they're brain chemicals only, charges refuted by neurologists who have experienced them.

[BigmanPigman]

9. I watched those experiences too.

Most have nothing to do with Jesus or religion, which I like. They are normal, everyday people sharing what happened to them. Many people see dead pets and family and friends and it all immersed in beautiful colors and an overwhelming sense of peace and love. People who work in hospice care have heard a lot of these stories from their patients days before they died. I am looking forward to joining them.

[Karadeniz]

10. You are truly a spirit enclosed by a temporary body.

[twodogsbarking]

5. I'll keep trying to not die and accept it when it comes.

[anciano]

6. "There never was a time when you or I did not exist,

nor will there be any future when we shall cease to be." --- from the Bhagavad Gita

[DavidDvorkin]

7. I will never be comfortable with it, and I don't want to be

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

[BigmanPigman]

8. I don't fear mine but I fear it in my loved ones.

Grief is hell for me.

I look forward and wish I would die, the sooner the better. Living with pain in every part of your body, year in and year out is not a good time.

[MorbidButterflyTat]

11. Yeah

If dying means reuniting with predeceased family members, my afterlife will be as horrific as this current one.

[stuck in the middle]

12. Give Me Flowers While I'm Living

Champion Jack Dupree-Give Me Flowers While I'm Living

[Celerity]

13. Public Image Ltd. - Flowers Of Romance

Public Image Ltd.- Flowers Of Romance (Studio Version) 1981, Remastered 2011

Producer: Public Image Limited
Studio Personnel, Mastering Engineer: Sean Magee
Associated Performer, Vocals: John Lydon
Associated Performer, Guitar: Keith Levene
Associated Performer, Drums: Martin Atkins
Composer Lyricist: Paul Cook
Composer Lyricist: Stephen Jones
Composer Lyricist: Glen Matlock
Composer Lyricist: John Lydon


Public Image Limited - The Flowers of Romance (Live 1983 on The Tube)

Label: Virgin – V 2189, Virgin – V2189
Format: Vinyl, LP, Album, Stereo
Country: UK
Released: 10 Apr 1981
Genre: Electronic, Rock
Style: Post-Punk, Experimental

[stuck in the middle]

14. I have one foot in the grave already.

But before I die, I want to see the Flower Festival in Medellin.

More than 500 flower farmers participate in Colombia’s Flower Festival

Check out 2:45 here:

Stephanie Beatriz, Olga Merediz, Encanto - Cast - The Family Madrigal (From Encanto)

[stuck in the middle]

15. A quarter century ago...

…my wife told me about the two most fundamental aspects of her religion (Catholic).

Many cultures, however, take a radically different approach. This includes, for example, encouraging people to maintain ties to their dead loved ones, such as through personal or communal rituals.

One of them was about el Cerro del Manzanillo (the center of the world, the Axis Mundi, where heaven meets earth and hell. (As chance would have it, my wife was born right next to the center of the world.

The other was about los funerals del angelitos, when an infant or small child (7 or under) dies.

Their bodies are prepared differently than adults, and because they are too young to have sinned, their souls go directly to heaven. I believe that they also serve as intermediaries, if I recall correctly.

They were still practiced when my wife was a child.

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