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Miles Archer

(23,330 posts)
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 01:38 PM Mar 4

"You left your blankie on a government jet, so your special employee Corey stepped forward to fire the pilot, midair"

"And while you make a daily mockery of our courts and our Constitution, you're treating the billions of dollars our colleagues showered on your department like a personal slush fund. You budgeted an astonishing $220 million for media consultant contracts so you can star in self-promoting photo shoots," he continued. "You're living rent-free in the official waterfront residence reserved for the commandant of the U.S. Coast Guard."

"You spent $172 million to buy not one, but two luxury jets for your travel, and now you're using taxpayer funds to lease a third jet, a $70 million luxury 737 Max, with a queen-sized bedroom in the back, a deluxe serving bar, and four flat-screen TVs."

"Apparently, when your special blanket, your blankie, was left on one of the government jets and not transported over to the new one, your special government employee, Corey Lewandowski, chivalrously stepped forward to fire the pilot, midair, a 2003 Coast Guard Academy graduate and distinguished U.S. Coast Guard commander," he noted. "But then he had to be rehired immediately because there was no one else who could fly the two of you on the rest of the journey back home."

"Secretary Noem, you're flying high now, maybe even a little bit too close to the sun," Raskin added. "But with all these free planes and houses and pilots, you've traveled a long distance from your actual job and the things you should be doing as head of Homeland Security."

https://www.rawstory.com/kristi-noem-special-blanket/

41 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
"You left your blankie on a government jet, so your special employee Corey stepped forward to fire the pilot, midair" (Original Post) Miles Archer Mar 4 OP
Righteous! Nailed it. deminks Mar 4 #1
ding. this . AllaN01Bear Mar 4 #21
The blanket probably had...you know, "evidence" leftstreet Mar 4 #2
Corey-Noem DNA is where my lower mind went too. PufPuf23 Mar 4 #30
I LOVE Jamie Raskin Wicked Blue Mar 4 #3
Why was she hired in the first place? efhmc Mar 4 #4
She does what Trump wants. Ray Bruns Mar 4 #8
And she has Mar-a-lago face PatSeg Mar 4 #16
"Mar-A-Lago Lips"? lastlib Mar 4 #18
Ha, ha! PatSeg Mar 4 #20
She really looks like she's made of plastic. lastlib Mar 4 #25
And with acrylic hair PatSeg Mar 4 #27
Tammy Faye Bakker acolyte. nt Wednesdays Mar 4 #28
Oh, I'd forgotten about Tammy Faye PatSeg Mar 4 #29
just like her boss Donald Trump. OGBuzz Mar 5 #32
Exactly PatSeg Mar 5 #34
Don't forget Jan Crouch. Doc_Technical Mar 5 #39
Whoa, I wasn't familiar with her! PatSeg Mar 5 #41
Yep. Loyalty. Same reason they all were hired. Amaryllis Mar 4 #23
The People of South Dakota 33taw Mar 4 #9
Zucker Bros. "Airplane" Scene Prof. P.E. Name Mar 4 #5
He left out . . . AverageOldGuy Mar 4 #6
It's a brilliant put-down, but it won't have any discernible effect on how this Gov't operates. TheRickles Mar 4 #7
If only that pilot had a parachute and left the plane when he was fired... cojoel Mar 4 #10
Makes perfect sense.. Permanut Mar 4 #12
Yeah..and the OTHER pilot would have told that DIPSHIT that legally I can't fly this Bengus81 Mar 4 #13
Didn't she used to have children? colorado_ufo Mar 4 #11
When does Mr. Puppykiller file for divorce? Bengus81 Mar 4 #14
Maybe, just maybe popsdenver Mar 5 #38
If that would have happened to me, I'd have been like...okay! jmowreader Mar 4 #15
Hell maybe some piss-ant airport in popsdenver Mar 5 #40
"...a little bit too close to the sun.".... lastlib Mar 4 #17
...on her wings of racism and hatred.... Blue Owl Mar 5 #31
Blankie really means Noem on the Range's sex toys. Botany Mar 4 #19
The blankie may have been a cover for her tote bag fargone Mar 5 #37
ding . this . AllaN01Bear Mar 4 #22
After that flaying... GiqueCee Mar 4 #24
Didn't that tillis guy say noem was a farmer? I wonder if she got government farm bailout money! Tikki Mar 4 #26
Did her face slide off.... SergeStorms Mar 5 #33
Pilot should be thankful he wasn't near a gravel pit at the time. (n/t) thesquanderer Mar 5 #35
Thank you Rep. Jamie Raskin for the magnificent burn FakeNoose Mar 5 #36

PufPuf23

(9,870 posts)
30. Corey-Noem DNA is where my lower mind went too.
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 07:15 PM
Mar 4

Get that blankie to FBI Quantico for analysis.

Yuck.

PatSeg

(53,214 posts)
20. Ha, ha!
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:30 PM
Mar 4

When I saw her in a congressional hearing, I found myself wondering how long did it take to put on all that makeup. Then comes the long process of removing all of it! Someone should tell her that often "less is more".

I've seen mannequins that look more natural.

lastlib

(28,287 posts)
25. She really looks like she's made of plastic.
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:48 PM
Mar 4

Maybe Bruce Springsteen's term applies: "Silicone sister"......

PatSeg

(53,214 posts)
27. And with acrylic hair
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 05:06 PM
Mar 4

The lack of self-awareness is stunning, which is also the same with Trump. It sets them up for understandable ridicule.

That kind of makeup is usually reserved for a photo shoot, a stage play, or a motion picture, not real life. She apparently thinks she is a movie star - "I'm ready for my closeup".

PatSeg

(53,214 posts)
29. Oh, I'd forgotten about Tammy Faye
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 07:09 PM
Mar 4

She would get weepy over something and her eye makeup would run.

Kristi looks like she has to take off her makeup with a spatula.

Prof. P.E. Name

(77 posts)
5. Zucker Bros. "Airplane" Scene
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 02:13 PM
Mar 4

Isn't this Kristi/Corey scene just a little like the Zucker Brothers spoof: firing the pilot mid-flight?

Are some human beings that stupid?

Then we get into philosophy questions: Are MAGATS human beings; what qualifies as Stupid; are MAGATS and Stupid actually synonyms in the taxonomy sense?

AverageOldGuy

(3,866 posts)
6. He left out . . .
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 02:28 PM
Mar 4

. . . "And on top of all that stupid shit, you shoot puppies. I yield the rest of my time."

TheRickles

(3,398 posts)
7. It's a brilliant put-down, but it won't have any discernible effect on how this Gov't operates.
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 02:29 PM
Mar 4

Until a few R's grow a spine, or resign for medical reasons (or to spend more time with their families), not much is going to change.

cojoel

(1,027 posts)
10. If only that pilot had a parachute and left the plane when he was fired...
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 03:17 PM
Mar 4

the world might be a better place today.

Bengus81

(10,174 posts)
13. Yeah..and the OTHER pilot would have told that DIPSHIT that legally I can't fly this
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:01 PM
Mar 4

aircraft alone.

popsdenver

(2,317 posts)
38. Maybe, just maybe
Thu Mar 5, 2026, 01:41 PM
Mar 5

he is a "kept" man, and true cuckhold and it is an incredible turn on, to being publicly humiliated by her "out in the open" Sexual escapades and Adultery.......

I would hate to be her kids..........

jmowreader

(53,209 posts)
15. If that would have happened to me, I'd have been like...okay!
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:08 PM
Mar 4

I'd find the first general aviation airport with enough runway to deal with a 737 and set it down. "I understand this airport is 40 miles from nowhere and the nearest hotel is a Motel 6 25 miles past that, but it's illegal for me to fly an airliner after I've been fired from its owner so...here you are. Enjoy Minnesota."

popsdenver

(2,317 posts)
40. Hell maybe some piss-ant airport in
Thu Mar 5, 2026, 01:50 PM
Mar 5

RURAL Colorado !!!!!!!!!!! Who knows what NOEM, and Bang-Bang Boebert could dream up for fun....

Hell, Bang-Bang could even teach Noem a few new tricks.....Boebert has no problem, with public hyper sexual displays of affection, with her "Boy Toy", in front of entire Audience at the Denver Center of Performing Arts in Denver, during a sold out play..........
(HD Security Video of all of it, are all over the internet)

lastlib

(28,287 posts)
17. "...a little bit too close to the sun."....
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:19 PM
Mar 4

So do we make a new nickname for her? "ICK- arus"? (Or, maybe closer to truth, "ICK--a RUSSKY"?....)

Botany

(77,354 posts)
19. Blankie really means Noem on the Range's sex toys.
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:26 PM
Mar 4

You just know that Kristi plays back door cowboy with Corey.

fargone

(625 posts)
37. The blankie may have been a cover for her tote bag
Thu Mar 5, 2026, 01:36 PM
Mar 5

That could be the reason Corydoras rose to the occasion

GiqueCee

(4,294 posts)
24. After that flaying...
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:41 PM
Mar 4

... I doubt there was anything left but hair extensions!
But her kind of incompetence is just what that vindictive sonofabitch, Trumpty-Dumpty, wanted in his cabinet. America failed to bend the knee, kiss his smelly ass, and reelect him in 2020, so he's gonna burn the country to the ground. That's a win-win for him; he gets his vengeance, and avoids defenestration by Pootie-poot.
Goddammit, I hate that evil fuck. He destroys everything he touches. And every Republican Satan ever shat out is going to wear the Scarlet Letter "T" for the rest of their worthless lives.

Tikki

(15,143 posts)
26. Didn't that tillis guy say noem was a farmer? I wonder if she got government farm bailout money!
Wed Mar 4, 2026, 04:54 PM
Mar 4

Tikki

FakeNoose

(41,697 posts)
36. Thank you Rep. Jamie Raskin for the magnificent burn
Thu Mar 5, 2026, 12:29 PM
Mar 5


We need to recognize that Rep. Raskin's words were really for us Democratic voters, since the Repukes never listen to anything he says anyway. We already know that Kristi Noem is beyond redemption and totally corrupt. Raskin is counting the days and the reasons for when she's thrown out of her job, and fired or impeached by Congress.

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