Trump Administration Announces That We Don't Know Where the Sun Goes at Night

[Nevilledog]

https://www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/2026/02/trump-administration-science-climate-change/686008/

No paywall link
https://archive.li/99RUY

“President Trump on Thursday announced he was erasing the scientific finding that climate change endangers human health and the environment, ending the federal government’s legal authority to control the pollution that is dangerously heating the planet.” — The New York Times

A new ruling from the Trump administration says that when the sun disappears at night, we don’t know where it goes. All remaining top scientists have been taken from their positions and tasked with getting to the bottom of this.

The National Institutes of Health has orders to devote every whiteboard in every conference room to this pressing question. In the Oval Office, under the gold leaf, the president and his advisers are making a big list of possibilities:

The sun might be on the back of a big beetle—a dung beetle, maybe. (The EPA will work to determine what kind of beetle.) Where is the beetle going with it? Will the beetle bring it back?

Or maybe the witches take it. (They are pretty sure in the White House that witches are real.)

Maybe the immigrants steal the sun in the evenings.

*snip*



This is satire. It's hard to tell these days.

[underpants]

1. My money's on them ending up in the witches.

at which point all their influencers will drown Twitter with this.

Jesus Neville, you absolute ❤️ tramp.

[Nevilledog]

4. Nicest thing I've ever been called

[Mordred]

2. Mystery Solved

As Ronnie James Dio and Black Sabbath said in 1980:

"The Moon is just the Sun at night"

[SheltieLover]

3. Not The Onion?

[Nevilledog]

5. Alexandra Petri.....satirist

[SheltieLover]

7. Ty! One never knows what moron might utter

[NNadir]

6. I would like to think this is satire, but unfortunately I'm inclined to believe it's real.

[PCIntern]

8. I understand that Trump told Musk

to send a rocket to the sun and land on it at nighttime so it wouldn’t burn up.

just in case