The Borowitz Report-Prince Andrew Announces He Will Move to America Where Government Protects Pedophiles
Last edited Sat Oct 18, 2025, 09:59 AM - Edit history (1)

Prince Andrew Announces He Will Move to America Where Government Protects Pedophiles
www.borowitzreport.com/p/prince-and...
— Race Bannon (@racebannon.bsky.social) 2025-10-17T23:21:08.590Z
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/prince-andrew-announces-he-will-move
LONDON (The Borowitz Report)On Friday Prince Andrew announced that he was moving to America, hailing it as a country whose government protects pedophiles.
My bags are packed for Washington, D.C., the disgraced royal told reporters at Heathrow airport. If youre a pedophile, its a sanctuary city.
If the federal government has a list of pedophilespoofit vanishes into thin air, he said. And Im told theres a chap named Mike Johnson whose entire job is to protect blokes like me.
Despite such lavish praise, the Trump administration gave the news of Andrews relocation a chilly response. President Trump has never met Prince Andrew, said newly-appointed White House press secretary George Santos.