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Tucker08087

(622 posts)
Wed May 31, 2023, 06:05 PM May 2023

poem/song lyrics about dementia


She sits silently and looks out of her window
Slowly rocking back and forth
To a song from long ago
She gives a smile of remembrance
Flashbacks to days of independence
We shake our heads because we know
The words have disappeared from her so…

She sits with visitors from the past
Wistful memories that didn’t last
Cries because it all sounds the same
And though I’m here with her
Fear for her, cheer for her
Make long lost visions clear for her
She looks at me but can’t recall my name

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell me this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take your church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

She rocks all day watching humming birds
At night she cries about the news she heard
weather that blew away some homes
The sky is blue with puffy clouds
She prays to God it’s over now
But hears of kids gunned down right to their bones

She takes a pill to numb the pain
Fears the thunder and the rain
Clings to me but doesn’t know my name
And so we laugh at 80s shows
5th time now but she doesn’t know
Every day is new in her mind
And though I try to fight the truth
We can’t return now to our youth
The daughter now the mother redefined
And slowly, always lonely, I stumble
Lost in time

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell my this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take you church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

Watch the daily disintegration
Drowning with anticipation
Knowing that from here it just gets worse
Smile as you fein acceptance
Absent mind, you fake attendance
It’s not a blessing but a demon’s curse
You pray hard that it wont get worse
Practicing your lines and verse
Praying that your thoughts are never known
Now you’re on your own
As you hold your frozen smile
in this zone

She wakes up to the chirping birds
The same that every day she’s heard
But can’t believe it’s something that she’s known
I smile though I want to die
Choke down the tears I’d like to cry
But she’s a child now-I’m the one who’s grown
We’ll fight it on our own

She rocks back and forth and hums a tune
From way before my time
And I cry…


Quick Facts:
More than 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's. By 2050, this number is projected to rise to nearly 13 million.

1 in 3 seniors dies with Alzheimer's or another dementia. It kills more than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined.

In 2023, Alzheimer’s and other dementias will cost the nation $345 billion. By 2050, these costs could rise to nearly $1 trillion
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/facts-figures
23 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
poem/song lyrics about dementia (Original Post) Tucker08087 May 2023 OP
Veronica JanMichael May 2023 #1
My first thought as well TheProle May 2023 #3
This message was self-deleted by its author elocs May 2023 #8
Inspired by his grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer's Clash City Rocker May 2023 #9
Oh my Tucker08087 May 2023 #13
Thank you, it's beautiful. FM123 May 2023 #2
It is a horrible disease. sheshe2 May 2023 #4
Thank you for bringing attention to the issue... Moostache May 2023 #5
Peace to you ❤️ Tickle May 2023 #6
I understand Tucker08087 May 2023 #11
Is that your original poetry? bigtime May 2023 #7
Yes, it is. Tucker08087 May 2023 #10
That's really, really great work I just have to say ... in a little bit of awe really. Hugh_Lebowski May 2023 #12
Thank you! Tucker08087 May 2023 #14
Very fine, Tucker. Thanks. And the reaiity important information. Hortensis May 2023 #15
I'm glad you're here... Duppers Jun 2023 #18
Thank you for sharing it! Tucker08087 Jun 2023 #20
Thank you for this moving post. lapucelle May 2023 #16
Mike Luckovich captures part of the sentiment of the OP LetMyPeopleVote May 2023 #17
Beautiful! (eom) Malmsy Jun 2023 #19
Recommended. panader0 Jun 2023 #21
I'd love to read it! Tucker08087 Jun 2023 #23
🤷‍♂️💕 Cha Jun 2023 #22

JanMichael

(25,725 posts)
1. Veronica
Wed May 31, 2023, 06:11 PM
May 2023

it all in that pretty little head of yours?
What goes on in that place in the dark?
Well I used to know a girl and I could have sworn
That her name was Veronica

Well she used to have a carefree mind of her own
And a delicate look in her eye
These days I'm afraid she's not even sure
If her name is Veronica

Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,
Veronica has gone to hide?
And all the time she laughs at those who shout
Her name and steal her clothes
Veronica
Veronica

Did the days drag by? Did the favors wane?
Did he roam down the town all the while?
Will you wake from your dream, with a wolf at the door,
Reaching out for Veronica

Well it was all of sixty-five years ago
When the world was the street where she lived
And a young man sailed on a ship in the sea
With a picture of Veronica

On the "Empress of India"
And as she closed her eyes upon the world
And picked upon the bones of last week's news
She spoke his name out loud again

Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,
Veronica has gone to hide?
And all the time she laughs at those who shout
Her name and steal her clothes
Veronica
Veronica

Veronica sits in her favorite chair
And she sits very quiet and still
And they call her a name that they never get right
And if they don't then nobody else will

But she used to have a carefree mind of her own
With devilish look in her eye
Saying "You can call me anything you like,
But my name is Veronica"

Do you suppose, that waiting hands on eyes,
Veronica has gone to hide?
And all the time she laughs at those who shout
Her name and steal her clothes
Veronica
Veronica
Oh Veronica

Response to JanMichael (Reply #1)

Clash City Rocker

(3,546 posts)
9. Inspired by his grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer's
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:20 PM
May 2023

And whose confirmation name was Veronica. Elvis wrote the bones of the song and Paul McCartney helped him finish it (and played bass on the song).

Tucker08087

(622 posts)
13. Oh my
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:07 PM
May 2023

How very sad. I didn’t realize there were other shoes to fill. My feet are too small for that job. But I wrote from my heart, as I believe this was, too. Poignant and so sad…

FM123

(10,276 posts)
2. Thank you, it's beautiful.
Wed May 31, 2023, 06:16 PM
May 2023

One of my dearest sweet friends has early onset dementia, she is only in her mid-sixties. I went through this twice before with elderly relatives, including Mom - but never with someone so young, just heart-breaking.

sheshe2

(94,440 posts)
4. It is a horrible disease.
Wed May 31, 2023, 06:26 PM
May 2023

Thank you for posting this poignant poem about your mom and the caregivers that work selflessly. I was one for my mom for 5 years, not dementia. My dad was the one with dementia and we cared for him as long as we could at home. I miss them both.

Moostache

(10,853 posts)
5. Thank you for bringing attention to the issue...
Wed May 31, 2023, 06:27 PM
May 2023

My grandmother lived to be 97 years old, but her final 15 years were spent in a state of terror and unfamiliarity with the world around her and the family that she loved and that loved her as well. I have a 4-generation photo of myself, my father and my son with her a few months before her deterioration really started.

The photo haunts me both for the sense of love and loss it provides me and for the replay of this I am now living with my father. Dad survived mom's 18-year fight with cancer, COVID-19 isolation and a massive stroke in 2021 that should have been fatal if he had not been visiting my sister and the stroke recognized by her in time to get him help immediately. Now, dementia is setting in and he is losing once again. He passed 80 years old and his reward for a life of planning and saving and being in relative good health has been to be a widower in a strange place and increasingly lonely time.

Dad can't handle his bills any longer, he can't form new memories as easily as he once did...he still retains the past....when my siblings and I were chidden, when HE was a child...but he can't remember the start of a conversation from 15 minutes ago. He can't remember any of the 9 grandchildren's birthdays or the youngest's recent milestones (first communion, grade school plays). When we lost mom, I feared that dad would pass soon after (and his stroke was only 6 months after mom's passing), but he survived and did so with a miraculous lack of lost function - no movement deficit or speech impairment, no paralysis...a real miracle of modern medicine given the seriousness of the clot and the size of what they were able to clear and save him.

And now the cruelest blows of all are raining down on us. Dad can't make new friends because he is embarrassed by not being able to follow along with conversations or remember the people's names from the beginning of a meal to the end. He gets confused in large rooms because the auditory inputs overwhelm his ability to focus on conversations, the things that once came easily and naturally in social settings are laborious and overwhelming. Its a helpless feeling to know there is nothing that can staunch this crushing tide. Today is as good as its likely to ever get again, and it may not get quite that good again. I find myself almost helpless at times locked into inaction by feelings of guilt and remorse and not wanting to make things harder for dad at the same time not being able to make it easier either.

Dementia is the silent, prolonged death and its cruelty is every bit as mentally devastating as cancer was physically. I try to remain up beat and focus less on the bad days and more on the moments we still laugh and share time together, but I can't help but also slide into a little depression of my own feeling that I am watching a preview of my own demise at the same time I am living it with dad the way he did with grandma...that 4 generation photo stares back at me and time's passage is keenly felt in it. I was just 32 years old in the photo, Dad was 60 and grandma was 81. It feels like yesterday though and that scares me because while that photo is now 20 years ago, I can't shake at times how recent it feels and how that translates to the future as well.

I pray for more good days than bad for dad, and by extension for myself. I feel guilty all the time for being frightened by the condition and leery of its potential to be my own fate as well, seeing as the genetic lottery tickets in my direct lineage don't come up jackpot. Knowing that the problem is not isolated does not make it easier right now as I navigate it, but it does provide the kind of communal comfort that comes from knowing there are others who are feeling this too right now and that we can talk about it and draw strength from each other as a result.

 

Tickle

(4,131 posts)
6. Peace to you ❤️
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:03 PM
May 2023

I wish we could pick our own end. We deserve to end this world with dignity and on our terms. I wish you strength and patience

Tucker08087

(622 posts)
11. I understand
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:46 PM
May 2023

We need to talk about certain things more openly and this is one of them. There are treatments now. Some are really promising, too. I got my mom on one but she refuses to take it. I wish I had known before she reached this point, and not even her doctor said a word until I cried out, “This is happening so fast! Is there nothing that can be done?” You would think he would have told me. This is uncharted territory for me. Now they say I should be in a caregivers’ group therapy but had no answers to who will sit with my mom when I’m at group. And will my absence make her even more fearful for those hours, because the fear lasts for quite some time. Why break someone knowing you will need to glue her back together? We need one another yet we are alone with a shell of someone we love.
I feel you! ❤️

bigtime

(738 posts)
7. Is that your original poetry?
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:06 PM
May 2023

It is wonderful and touching. Both of my parents suffered dementia in their final years so I can definitely identify with your beautiful poem.

Tucker08087

(622 posts)
10. Yes, it is.
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:40 PM
May 2023

I wrote this about my mom. I built a 4 room apartment onto my house to keep an eye on her but now I’m rarely in “my house” anymore. She is confused, frightened, and is now a fall risk. Two serious surgeries from falls that she can’t remember. She can’t even remember that she had surgery and although I’m her daughter and only caregiver, she can’t remember my name lately or who I am except that nice pretty girl who takes care of her. She cries for death or at least a nursing home. I tell her I’m her nurse and she’s home. As a young widow myself, suffering secretly with leukemia and lupus, it takes a toll on my own mental health, my nonexistent social life and my health. But she loves her rocker and watching the birds. I put feeders and bird baths outside her windows as well as seasonal decorations so she can see them all from her rocker. She seems at peace then. I write a lot of songs and sing her concerts but they have to be positive or she gets upset, and frankly I’m better with raw emotion. She’s my mom and has always been a force. Watching her decline is the hardest but one of the best things I’ve done. And I cry…

 

Hugh_Lebowski

(33,643 posts)
12. That's really, really great work I just have to say ... in a little bit of awe really.
Wed May 31, 2023, 07:58 PM
May 2023

You're a talented lady, not to mention generous and loving.

Thanks for doing what you do for your mom, your family, and for the world.



Honestly seeing things like this post are what I cherish most about DU.

Tucker08087

(622 posts)
14. Thank you!
Wed May 31, 2023, 08:20 PM
May 2023

I was afraid to post in this forum. I usually post in the poetry forum where apparently poems go to die. But this was an issue that had come up due to Mrs. Carter and I had just written this poem a few days ago.

Duppers

(28,442 posts)
18. I'm glad you're here...
Thu Jun 1, 2023, 12:38 AM
Jun 2023

Expressing your thoughts and feelings. I'm listening and know there are others.

Hope you keep posting; it's cathartic...all joy and pain need to be shared.

Btw, I sent your beautiful poem out; it's too good, too touching not to be shared.



panader0

(25,816 posts)
21. Recommended.
Thu Jun 1, 2023, 10:35 AM
Jun 2023

I lost my dad and older brother to dementia. I wrote a poem about my dad called The Biscuit because he called
everything the biscuit when he couldn't remember the word. All people were "buster". It is truly heartbreaking.
I'll text it to you if I can find it.

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