Pence Says He Hid Behind Classified Documents to Keep Women from Lusting After Him

[Ohio Joe]

Mike Pence has revealed that he often hid behind classified documents to prevent women who were not his wife from lusting after him.

Speaking to reporters outside his home in Indiana, Pence said that his “greatest fear” was dining alone in a restaurant and being accosted by women “hellbent on seducing me.”

“Whenever possible, I’d bring Mother,” he said. “But when she wasn’t available I’d hide my face behind classified documents.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pence-says-he-hid-behind-classified-documents-to-keep-women-from-lusting-after-him/amp

Gotta love Borowitz

[secondwind]

1. Excellent

[dewsgirl]

2. Things have gotten so crazy, I totally believed it until the last sentence.🤣

[moonscape]

5. Same!

[dewsgirl]

6. Oh good, I thought I might be alone.😊

[CatWoman]

7. LOL!!!!

Can I join this party?

[dewsgirl]

10. 😂 lol

[brer cat]

3. Borowitz is the best!

I love good satire.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

4. I'm too sexy for my classified document jacket. nt

[CatWoman]

9. ....

[phoenix75]

8. Good one!

[DBoon]

11. I saw this and thought, "This must be The Onion"

I was wrong

It's Borowitz

[Irish_Dem]

12. Pence is the kind of guy who would steal classified docs about people's sex lives.

And read them on the QT away from mother.